Friday, 17 May 2019

LGBT Lessons?

The headline reads LGBT school lessons protests spread nationwide (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-48294017).

The picture with the article is this:



People are reported as saying things like:
  • We are not homophobic people
  • All we are concerned [about] is we are having our children come home with material that contradicts our moral values
  • It's not about gay lesbian rights and equality. This is purely about proselytising a homosexual way of life to children
  • They want to convert you, they want to convert your morality and that's just wrong
So, what is the truth?

The UK government view is discussed here:

The official Department for Education document: Relationships Education, Relationships and Sex Education (RSE) and Health Education Draft statutory guidance for governing bodies, proprietors, head teachers, principals, senior leadership teams, teachers is here: https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/781150/Draft_guidance_Relationships_Education__Relationships_and_Sex_Education__RSE__and_Health_Education2.pdf

Of Relationships Education it says that: By the end of primary school, pupils should know:

  • that families are important for children growing up because they can give love, security and stability.
  • the characteristics of healthy family life, commitment to each other, including in times of difficulty, protection and care for children and other family members, the importance of spending time together and sharing each other’s lives.
  • that others’ families, either in school or in the wider world, sometimes look different from their family, but that they should respect those differences and know that other children’s families are also characterised by love and care.
  • that stable, caring relationships, which may be of different types, are at the heart of happy families, and are important for children’s security as they grow up.
  • that marriage13 represents a formal and legally recognised commitment of two people to each other which is intended to be lifelong.
  • how to recognise if family relationships are making them feel unhappy or unsafe, and how to seek help or advice from others if needed.
  • how important friendships are in making us feel happy and secure, and how people choose and make friends.
  • the characteristics of friendships, including mutual respect, truthfulness, trustworthiness, loyalty, kindness, generosity, trust, sharing interests and experiences and support with problems and difficulties.
  • that healthy friendships are positive and welcoming towards others, and do not make others feel lonely or excluded.
  • that most friendships have ups and downs, and that these can often be worked through so that the friendship is repaired or even strengthened, and that resorting to violence is never right.
  • how to recognise who to trust and who not to trust, how to judge when a friendship is making them feel unhappy or uncomfortable, managing conflict, how to manage these situations and how to seek help or advice from others, if needed.
  • the importance of respecting others, even when they are very different from them (for example, physically, in character, personality or backgrounds), or make different choices or have different preferences or beliefs.
  • practical steps they can take in a range of different contexts to improve or support respectful relationships.
  • the conventions of courtesy and manners.
  • the importance of self-respect and how this links to their own happiness.
  • that in school and in wider society they can expect to be treated with respect by others, and that in turn they should show due respect to others, including those in positions of authority.
  • about different types of bullying (including cyberbullying), the impact of bullying, responsibilities of bystanders (primarily reporting bullying to an adult) and how to get help.
  • what a stereotype is, and how stereotypes can be unfair, negative or destructive.
  • the importance of permission-seeking and giving in relationships with friends, peers and adults.
  • that people sometimes behave differently online, including by pretending to be someone they are not.
  • that the same principles apply to online relationships as to face-to-face relationships, including the importance of respect for others online including when we are anonymous.
  • the rules and principles for keeping safe online, how to recognise risks, harmful content and contact, and how to report them.
  • how to critically consider their online friendships and sources of information including awareness of the risks associated with people they have never met.
  • how information and data is shared and used online.
  • what sorts of boundaries are appropriate in friendships with peers and others (including in a digital context).
  • about the concept of privacy and the implications of it for both children and adults; including that it is not always right to keep secrets if they relate to being safe.
  • that each person’s body belongs to them, and the differences between appropriate and inappropriate or unsafe physical, and other, contact.
  • how to respond safely and appropriately to adults they may encounter (in all contexts, including online) whom they do not know.
  • how to recognise and report feelings of being unsafe or feeling bad about any adult.
  • how to ask for advice or help for themselves or others, and to keep trying until they are heard,
  • how to report concerns or abuse, and the vocabulary and confidence needed to do so.
  • where to get advice e.g. family, school and/or other sources.

On the subject of: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) the document says:

  • In teaching Relationships Education and RSE, schools should ensure that the needs of all pupils are appropriately met, and that all pupils understand the importance of equality and respect. Schools must ensure that they comply with the relevant provisions of the Equality Act 2010, (please see The Equality Act 2010 and schools: Departmental advice), under which sexual orientation and gender reassignment are amongst the protected characteristics.
  • Schools should ensure that all of their teaching is sensitive and age appropriate in approach and content. At the point at which schools consider it appropriate to teach their pupils about LGBT, they should ensure that this content is fully integrated into their programmes of study for this area of the curriculum rather than delivered as a standalone unit or lesson. Schools are free to determine how they do this, and we expect all pupils to have been taught LGBT content at a timely point as part of this area of the curriculum.

Looking at this list I find it really difficult as to why any parent should be afraid that their child would know these things.


It doesn't suggest anywhere in the document that schools should teach pupils that they should become Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Trans. It speaks of awareness and respect for people that may be different from you.


Of Relationships and Sex Education (RSE) it says that by the end of secondary school pupils should know:

  • that there are different types of committed, stable relationships.
  • how these relationships might contribute to human happiness and their importance for bringing up children.
  • what marriage is, including their legal status e.g. that marriage carries legal rights and protections not available to couples who are cohabiting or who have married, for example, in an unregistered religious ceremony.
  • why marriage is an important relationship choice for many couples and why it must be freely entered into.
  • the characteristics and legal status of other types of long-term relationships.
  • the roles and responsibilities of parents with respect to raising of children, including the characteristics of successful parenting.
  • how to: determine whether other children, adults or sources of information are trustworthy: judge when a family, friend, intimate or other relationship is unsafe (and to recognise this in others’ relationships); and, how to seek help
  • the characteristics of positive and healthy friendships (in all contexts, including online) including: trust, respect, honesty, kindness, generosity, boundaries, privacy, consent and the management of conflict, reconciliation and ending relationships. This includes different (non-sexual) types of relationship.
  • practical steps they can take in a range of different contexts to improve or support respectful relationships.
  • how stereotypes, in particular stereotypes based on sex, gender, race, religion, sexual orientation or disability, can cause damage (e.g. how they might normalise non-consensual behaviour or encourage prejudice).
  • that in school and in wider society they can expect to be treated with respect by others, and that in turn they should show due respect to others, including people in positions of authority and due tolerance of other people’s beliefs.
  • about different types of bullying (including cyberbullying), the impact of bullying, responsibilities of bystanders to report bullying and how and where to get help.
  • that some types of behaviour within relationships are criminal, including violent behaviour and coercive control.
  • what constitutes sexual harassment and sexual violence and why these are always unacceptable.
  • the legal rights and responsibilities regarding equality (particularly with reference to the protected characteristics as defined in the Equality Act 2010) and that everyone is unique and equal
  • their rights, responsibilities and opportunities online, including that the same expectations of behaviour apply in all contexts, including online.
  • about online risks, including that any material someone provides to another has the potential to be shared online and the difficulty of removing potentially compromising material placed online.
  • not to provide material to others that they would not want shared further and not to share personal material which is sent to them.
  • what to do and where to get support to report material or manage issues online.
  • the impact of viewing harmful content.
  • that specifically sexually explicit material e.g. pornography presents a distorted picture of sexual behaviours, can damage the way people see themselves in relation to others and negatively affect how they behave towards sexual partners.
  • that sharing and viewing indecent images of children (including those created by children) is a criminal offence which carries severe penalties including jail.
  • how information and data is generated, collected, shared and used online
  • the concepts of, and laws relating to, sexual consent, sexual exploitation, abuse, grooming, coercion, harassment, rape, domestic abuse, forced marriage, honour-based violence and FGM, and how these can affect current and future relationships.
  • how people can actively communicate and recognise consent from others, including sexual consent, and how and when consent can be withdrawn (in all contexts, including online).
  • how to recognise the characteristics and positive aspects of healthy one-to-one intimate relationships, which include mutual respect, consent, loyalty, trust, shared interests and outlook, sex and friendship.
  • that all aspects of health can be affected by choices they make in sex and relationships, positively or negatively, e.g. physical, emotional, mental, sexual and reproductive health and wellbeing.
  • the facts about reproductive health, including fertility and the potential impact of lifestyle on fertility for men and women.
  • that there are a range of strategies for identifying and managing sexual pressure, including understanding peer pressure, resisting pressure and not pressurising others.
  • that they have a choice to delay sex or to enjoy intimacy without sex.
  • the facts about the full range of contraceptive choices, efficacy and options available.
  • the facts around pregnancy including miscarriage.
  • that there are choices in relation to pregnancy (with medically and legally accurate, impartial information on all options, including keeping the baby, adoption, abortion and where to get further help).
  • how the different sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV/AIDs, are transmitted, how risk can be reduced through safer sex (including through condom use) and the importance of and facts about testing.
  • about the prevalence of some STIs, the impact they can have on those who contract them and key facts about treatment.
  • how the use of alcohol and drugs can lead to risky sexual behaviour.
  • how to get further advice, including how and where to access confidential sexual and reproductive health advice and treatment.

The document also makes clear:

  • A good understanding of pupils’ faith backgrounds and positive relationships between the school and local faith communities help to create a constructive context for the teaching of these subjects.
  • In all schools, when teaching these subjects, the religious background of all pupils must be taken into account when planning teaching, so that the topics that are included in the core content in this guidance are appropriately handled. Schools must ensure they comply with the relevant provisions of the Equality Act 2010, under which religion or belief are amongst the protected characteristics.
  • All schools may teach about faith perspectives. In particular, schools with a religious character may teach the distinctive faith perspective on relationships, and balanced debate may take place about issues that are seen as contentious. For example, DRAFT 13 the school may wish to reflect on faith teachings about certain topics as well as how their faith institutions may support people in matters of relationships and sex.
  • In all schools, teaching should reflect the law (including the Equality Act 2010) as it applies to relationships, so that young people clearly understand what the law allows and does not allow, and the wider legal implications of decisions they may make.

Again, I find it really difficult as to why any parent should be afraid that their child would know these things. In fact, it worries me that some parents prefer that their children shouldn't know.


The above involved a lot of copying and pasting. But I did read it all as well.


There's a lot of other stuff in the document, please read it.


The truth is no one is proposing that there should be LGBT lessons.


The proposal is that in the wider context of relationships that children should be encouraged to treat other people with respect - even L people, G people, B people and T people.


So in the end I have no opinion as to whether or not the protesters are homophobic. But I'm pretty sure that they are either ill-informed or, what would be even worse, they are afraid that their children should be taught some of the things that are listed above.


Wednesday, 23 January 2019

TRANSlation - a trans film for cis people - Café and Documentaries Revisited

Back here I mentioned a visit to  Café and the filming of a documentary.

Since then there's been a little more of the same with differences.

On January 13th I spent a lovely evening at Café Rouge in Windsor with Chloe, Susie, Julia and Tina. Here we are:



The documentary that I mentioned has been completed. It's named TRANSlation - a trans film for cis people and is here:



I think it makes the point well, that things are moving, but that there is still a long way to go.

Thank you Harri, Alex, Elisha, Evie, Nate and Terrel for all the time that you put into this.

And thank you Alice, Laura, Adele, Lewis, Anabel, Summer and Avery for the things you shared.

Wednesday, 12 December 2018

More than music

A little while ago I mentioned the music of Emily Maguire.

After listening to Emily's music quite a lot and watching her play at The Slaughtered Lamb in London :

we booked tickets to a gig at the Sakya Buddhist Centre in Bristol on Saturday December 8 2018.

The day didn't go completely as planned.

The Andrea plan ran something like this:

  • 14:50 to 16:20 - do the makeup
  • 16:20 to 18:00 - drive to Bristol and find somewhere to eat
  • 18:00 to 19:30 - eat somewhere in Bristol - Gloucester Road maybe?
  • 19:30 to 19:45 - get to the venue
  • 19:45 to 20:00 - mingle and wait around at the venue
  • 20:00 to ??:?? (whenever things wind up) - enjoy the poetry and music
  • ??:?? to ??:?? + 94 minutes - drive home

At 15:00 all is well. The makeup doesn't really take 90 minutes to apply. There is certainly more to life than makeup.

Denim skirt + blouse + cardigan? Or dress and shawl?

I consult my fashion adviser (aka Sally). The dress wins - though the shawl isn't so popular an item.

Shaving takes way longer than on a non-Andrea day.

And then there's all the other stuff.

Cleansing lotion with cotton wool.

Moisturiser with fingers.

Primer with fingers.

Pause. Panties. Tights. Bra. Falsies.

Red door.

Image result for red door perfume

Lipstick with a concealer brush around my mouth. It acts like a concealer to hide the inevitable pre-bristly grey shadow that asserts itself as time passes.

Foundation with a foundation brush.

Powder. On with a powder puff. Off with a brush.

Shadow with a shadow brush. More shadow with a shadow brush.

Liner under the eyes with a stick. Ober the eyes with a pen.

Mascara with the spiky thing that mascara comes provided with.

Blush with a blush brush.

Lipstick with an applicator.

Dress.

Shawl.

Necklace.

Hair.

Earrings.

Watch.

Rings.

Bracelet.

Lip gloss.

Flat shoes - for driving.

Andrea pops her house keys into the handbag. "I've got the keys" she calls out as Sally puts her coat on.

Andrea checks that the tickets are there.

Her purse - complete with money, credit cards, drivers licence.

Bits and pieces of makeup.

Phone.

The kind of things that belong in a handbag.

Pitter patter raindrops lead her to collect an umbrella.

And pick up her coat.

Some not so flat shoes, which have nothing much to do with the weather but look nicer than the flat ones.

She opens the rear door of the car and unloads her arms onto the seat.

Sally closes the house door. Climbs into the passenger seat.

The new TomTom is pre-programmed. She speaks with the computer-voice of Serena.

Off they go.

Innocently unaware that the tits-up experience is only minutes away.

Serena doesn't seem to be traffic-aware. Andrea decides it's time for a pep-talk.

It goes something like this - with contributions from Andrea, Serena and Sally.

"Hello Tom-Tom."

Silence.

Louder than before: "Hello Tom-Tom"

"Hello. I'm listening."

Beep.

"Activate phone."

"No phone is connected."

A pause.

"Hello Tom-Tom."

"Hello. I'm listening."

Beep.

"Activate phone."

"No phone is connected."

A longer pause.

"Please can you check my phone. In my handbag on the back seat."

"I can't find it".

"It should be there."

"I can't find it."

Andrea pulls over and parks.

"Let me see".

Beside the shoes? Beside the umbrella? Under the coat? On the floor? Under the seats?

No. No. No. No. No.

"Oh. Maybe it dropped onto the driveway?"

Inside a thought bubble: "I hope".

Five minutes driving.

Serena suggests that a U-turn would be a good idea.

The driveway is bare.

Andrea begins to wonder.

"When I picked up my coat, the umbrella and my shoes - what happened top the handbag."

Well - maybe it didn't get as far as the car.

Sally is amazingly at peace.

He handbag is complete with phone.

Unfortunately it has no keys.

Andrea was pretty clear that she had them.

In her handbag.

Unfortunately.

Andrea doesn't have her handbag.

Time for a chat with Google.

"I'm locked out of my house."

"Locksmiths - 24 hour callout."

17:00 the locksmiths are called.

"We can have someone with you in 60 to 90 minutes."

Tesco sandwiches rather than a Gloucester Road restaurant.

17:30 the pone rings.

"We should be with you in an hour."

BP provides some diesel.

17:57

"We'll be about 30 minutes."

Serena is connected.

"Oh ...".

The alarm is false. Bluetooth is capable of reaching through the front door and shaking hands with Andrea's phone.

"Hello TomTom".

"Hello. I'm listening.

Beep.

"Activate phone."

"Phone activated."

Beep.

"Mmm."

Sally phones Andrea.

Serena rings.

Serena is turned off.

Sally phones Andrea.

The sound comes from the hall table.

Sally and Andrea are amazed that they didn't try this a long time ago.

But it would have made no difference.

18:28 the cavalry arrive.

Andrea explains the position.

The locksmith bats no eyelids and sets to work.

18:35 the door is open. Handbag and it's goodies are retrieved. The papers are signed.

Andrea has keys.

Sally has keys.

18:45 journey recommences.

"Only Andrea would have done that."

"What?"

"Left home without a key."

Andrea ponders on this. Maybe its a shortage of pockets and an excess of handbags?

Serena is exceptionally helpful.

It rains. And rains. And rains some more.

20:08 arrival.

20:12 The room is pretty full, Sally apologises for being late.

"Emily hasn't come down yes."

At that moment, Emily comes down the stairs and heads for the microphone where Christian, complete with double bass, awaits her.

Andrea and Sally sit on cushions on the floor and enjoy the music and the poetry.

It's especially nice to hear some of the history behind how the book of poetry came into existence and how some of the songs came to be written.

If I'm remembering this correctly, Emily said that before writing The Borderline she'd gone through a long period where she hadn't been able to write anything. It was suggested she try waking  very early sometime, spend some time meditating and then see what happened. And this, The Borderline was born. At the moment it's a song that is very special to me.

The music is more than just music. The poetry is more than just words.

After the music is all over Andrea says thank you to Emily. Buys a book complete with autograph. A small glass of red wine. A chat. A thank you to Christian.

And the journey home ... with a renewed commitment to making sure that there is always a key available somewhere for the next time.

Friday, 7 December 2018

Documentaries, Café Rouge and more documentaries

Things have been busy over the past few weeks.

On Sunday November 25th there was a Surrey Swans meeting where we were visited by Nate, Harri, Alex,Terrell, Evie and Elisha from the University for Creative Arts who were putting together a documentary as part of a project for the course that they are studying.


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On Monday December 3rd I spent a lovely evening with Tina, Susie and Chloe at Café Rouge in Windsor. It’s always lovely to meet up. And here we are … Chloe, Andrea, Susie and Tina:


CafeRouge 031218


Part way through the evening we talked about identity and who we are. Susie shared a simple and yet profound truth. She said that really, she is just herself. She’s not a label. And that is true. It really is.

On Wednesday December 5th I visited UCA in Farnham as a follow up to the documentary. It involved some filming and chatting with people involved with the Trans society there. I found that to be really helpful for me. It was really special to share some thoughts and feelings with younger Trans people. It reminded me a bit of Emily Maguires Song, The Borderline in that we each knew that the borderlines are things that people invent and that really each of us is just a person. The fact that we are trans is an incidental thing. Mainly, we are just people.

Wednesday, 28 November 2018

Emily Maguire and Borderlines

Earlier this year whilst driving home from work I was listening to a programme on Radio 4 presented by Cherylee Houston that included an interview with Emily Maguire. You can listen to it here:

I found the interview itself really interesting and was captivated by Emily's music.

Sally and I went along to a concert of Emily's at the Slaughtered Lamb, a pub in London. It was great.

Recently I've been challenged by my own attitude towards the concepts of LGBT (maybe with a Q and an I) and TRANS (maybe with a *) and myself ... as illustrated a bit by this post that I made.

Then back in September I mentioned a questionnaire that was part of a study that is “interested in what might encourage LGBTQIA people to help groups under the umbrella that they are not necessarily a part of.”

A short while after writing that I first listened to an (old) song by Emily Maguire. The title is The Borderline. It's here:

And the words are here.

The Borderline
[E.Maguire]

Where is the borderline
The boundary between your tribe and mine
Are we the rain, the river, the cloud and the sea
If we are like water then which drop is me

And what is time – the fast blink of an eye
A circle so vast that we think it’s a line
And what is space – the air, the silence we breathe
A place of our own and the ghosts we don’t see Is it the boundary, the borderline
Between you and I, your mind and mine

Is fire the spark, the fuel, the air or the heat
The smoke in your eyes or the ash at your feet
Are trees the root, the branch, the wood or the leaves
The forest we burn or the broom that we keep
Beneath the stairs, the stars, the space in a jar The air outside is that where you are
Is that the borderline, the boundary
Between you and I, between your tribe and mine

But isn’t fear the dark shadow of hope
The things that we want and the things that we don’t
And so we cling and close the eyes that look in,
The soul we don’t see under the skin
Cos that’s a boundary, the borderline
Between you and I, between your tribe and mine

But we both were born and both will die
And in between will doubt and dream
Of a better life than life before
A meaning or a reason for
This feeling of being different, defined
When we are only dreaming of boundaries and borderlines
I hope we wake up

Cos what is love – a word, the feeling of you
Something we dream or the things that we do
And who am I – these thoughts, this feeling, my views
A fragile form or a dreamer like you
Are we so different, defined
Where is the borderline?

When we are like water, like trees
We have a name, an illusion of identity
Of boundaries, of borderlines
But my dreams are yours and your fears are mine
I hope we wake up from this dream of being different, defined
When we are only space and time

I love the music and the lyrics. The emphasis on things we have in common. The way that it quietly discredits the kind of tribalism that can lead to conflict.

It challenges me.

In December Sally and I are aiming to be in Bristol for one of the events of Emily's "Meditation Mind" Poetry & Song tour which we're looking forwards to a lot. I'm especially looking forwards to hearing The Borderline live.

Monday, 3 September 2018

A Questionnaire

I recently received an email from someone who is working on a Master’s Degree, asking if I could publicise an online questionnaire which is here: https://keelepsych.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0976YtCkEBdMxyR

The questionnaire is part of a study that is “interested in what might encourage LGBTQIA people to help groups under the umbrella that they are not necessarily a part of.”

I spent a while completing the survey myself and included information on it in one of the regular emails that I send to people that come along to Surrey Swans. At the recent Surrey Swans meeting I also talked a bit about some of the questions that the process of completing the survey raised in my own mind and ways in which it made me think about how I see myself and how I see the LGBT “community”.

To take part in the survey a person needs to:

  • Identify as a member of the LGBTQIA community (i.e. you are not heterosexual and/or your gender identity does not match the one you were assigned at birth)
  • Live in any region of the UK or Cyprus
  • Be at least 18 years old

If those bullet points apply to you and you have a bit of time to spare I recommend you give the questionnaire a go. It’s here.

Wednesday, 8 August 2018

Trans* - what’s in an asterisk?

I recently received an email from someone planning to do some research on experiences that trans* people have had with the British criminal justice system.

I’d not seen the use of the * at the end of trans much before – although it has apparently been used in some circles for quite a while.

At first I looked for a footnote at the end of the email explaining what “trans”meant. The way that some books use an * to indicate that there is a footnote. But there wasn’t one.

Then, having a background in computer software I thought maybe it means trans-anything. In some computer environments an * at the end of a word means anything that starts with that word.

Here it says that trans* is:

An umbrella term to include folks who identify as transgender, transsexual, and other identities where a person does not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. It is a placeholder for suffixes of trans, that is, trans_____. The asterisk (*) is standing in for *gender, *sexual, *feminine, *masculine, *folks, *person, *guy, *girl, *woman, and *man.

But it also says:

It is also inclusive of identities that do not start with the prefix “trans,” but can be understood as under the trans* umbrella. These identities include, but are not limited to, genderqueer, bigender, third gender, genderf*ck, gender fluid, genderless, MtF, FtM, Two Spirit, non-binary, androgynous, and masculine of center (MOC). While all of these identities are distinct from one other, each can be understood as under the trans* umbrella because the folks who identify with them do not identify as the gender they were assigned at birth and/or are “queering” (deviating from norms; blurring) gender expectations and assumptions.

And continues with:

A note on usage: the identities above are all self-identifying terms. It is not for you to say then, “Well, I read a blog post that said genderqueer people are trans*, so if you identify as genderqueer you are trans*, whether you think so or not.”
Respect the words that people use to describe themselves by using those same words to describe them and not questioning their use of the terms.

That last part makes it a bit difficult, and I’m not sure that the example that’s used makes sense. Even though each of the individual terms are a matter of self-identification, if the word trans* is an umbrella term for them all then by self-identifying as any one of the things included in the umbrella it’s difficult to see the logic in saying that the umbrella term is inappropriate without redefining the umbrella term. And if the meaning of the umbrella term keeps changing then the umbrella term becomes less and less useful. I know, I’m beginning to form sentences reminiscent of Sir Humphrey Appleby.

In some circles, trans (without the *) means all of the above. So is the * really needed?

Here at the Trans Student Educational Resources web site there’s an article about Why We Used Trans* and Why We Don’t Anymore.

And here Julia Serano has a blog post dated August 2015 Regarding Trans* and Transgenderism. Julia says:

In the last few months, I have become aware of a new claim: Trans* is apparently trans-misogynistic. I am not sure where this originated, but it seems to have garnered steam (a recent google search using “asterisk” and “transmisogyny” revealed numerous pages of results to this effect). According to a recent post by Tobi Hill-Meyer (that I encourage you to check out), she summarizes the current arguments being made against trans* this way: “that female assigned genderqueers popularized it as a way to prioritize their issues at the expense of trans women.” But she then goes on to talk about many previous incarnations of the trans* in “2010, 2007, 2003, and 1998” when it was forwarded by trans women to circumvent “transsexual vs. transgender” infighting that was occurring in those settings at that time. The last paragraph of her post really resonated with me:

“I'm not really invested in whether or not people use [trans*]. I don't feel it's important enough to fight over. But seeing the way people talk about it now makes me sad that the trans community seems to have a historical memory permanently limited to only 2-4 years back.”

Julia then makes an interesting point that:

The word trans* is not inherently inclusive or trans-misogynistic. Rather, like all words, it gets its meaning from the way in which people use it. And it may be utilized towards positive or negative ends. Just because some people may use it in an exclusionary way doesn’t mean that the word itself disparaging or exclusionary.

This fits in with my understanding about how words and labels work. It’s all about how they are used and the motives and agendas that people have in using them.

There’s a way in which “umbrella” terms begin to lack usefulness as more and more people get included under the umbrella, and some of them begin to get dischuffed about sharing it.

I know people who self-identify as transsexual and others that identify as transvestite. There is no doubt that they have things in common. They are people. They identify as individuals that are part of minority groups that have a history being persecuted and of being misunderstood. They typically dress in a way that is associated with a gender that is different than their birth-gender (and the use of the term birth-gender in this context is open to debate). So they share an umbrella. Yet, with these things in common there are also some significant differences. These differences mean that some people prefer to be under a different umbrella.

When I began writing this blog I self-identified as a t-girl or transvestite. These days I tend towards gender-fluid. The main reason really is that most of the time if I sat to someone “I’m gender-fluid” they ask me about what that means. Which means I can tell them about what it means to me rather than what that label (or umbrella) means to them. On the other hand, people have a tendency to think they know what transvestite means, and just go along with their own understanding of the label (umbrella) without asking questions.

Having said all of that, personally speaking, I find the term trans (as an abbreviation for transgender(ed)) useful – with or without the *. I understand that the umbrella is quite large and it does cover groups of people that are significantly different from each other. But each individual is a person that is living their life in a way that tends to challenge societies stereotypical views on gender. And it provides some kind of context for terms such as transphobia.  And generally, if I tell a person that I am transgender(ed) they’ll ask me what does that mean exactly – which gives me an opportunity to explain to them that it doesn't exactly mean anything, because, of course, umbrella terms never do. In the same way that a * at the end of a search term in some computer environments isn’t searching for something that is exactly anything. It’s more about finding things that are a bit like something.