Tuesday 15 March 2016

Pink Punters and the Pink Room

Last Saturday a few of us that go along to Surrey Swans paid a visit to Pink Punters.
It’s the first time I’ve been there in quite a while.
There was Emma, Adele, Mia, Lucy and me.
We had a plan.
Make our own way to the Campanile hotel, just across the road from Pink Punters, to arrive at about 18:00. Change. Meet at the hotel bar at about 19:45. Have a meal at the hotel at about 20:00. Head for Pink Punters at about 21:30. Head back for the hotel by no later than 06:30 on Sunday morning when Pink Punters closes.
As the great poet himself said:
The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!
Read on to see if this applies to girls as well as to mice and men.
10:30 and Andrea begins to pack a suitcase. With a mere 5 hours before take-off she’s playing it safe.
This is the trickiest part of the day.
A big suitcase.
Black stockings. White stockings. 
Assorted knickers
White bra. Black bra.
Suspender belt.
Black tights. Tan tights.
There’s a theme of redundancy here, which continues.
White cardigan.
Red dress. Black dress. Purple dress.
Black skirt. Black top.
Flat shoes. Heeled shoes. More heeled shoes.
Boob. Boob.
Hair. Wig cap.
Foundation.
Powder.
Eyeshadow. Eyeshadow.
Did I mention eyeshadow?
Eye liner. Mascara.
Blush. Lipstick.
Powder brush.
Eye brush. Eye brush.
Blush brush.
Perfume.
Makeup remover.
Watch.
Earrings.
Bracelet. Bracelet.
Necklace. Necklace.
Ring. Ring.
Nail file. Nail polish.
Nail polish remover.
Nail clippers.
Cotton wool balls.
Cotton wool buds.
It’s a big suitcase.
Nails are polished before midday. Experience has taught Andrea that nail polish and being in a hurry don’t go together well.
The drive from Windsor to the Campanile hotel is pleasantly uneventful. Aside from the potholes on the quiet Buckinghamshire roads.
At reception by 18:05.
Bleep.
Emma is in room 115.
Andrea is in room 25 by 18:15.
By 18:20 she realises the big suitcase is devoid of moisturising cream.
It could have been worse. Both boobs and hair are there.
Makeup takes about an hour.
Purple dress.
White cardigan.
Tan tights.
Black medium heel shoes.
Phone home.
At the bar by 19:45.
Adele and Mia are sipping drinks.
Emma arrives.
Lucy arrives.
Food and conversation.
A trip back to 125 at about 21:30.
Black skirt.
Black top.
Not so medium heels.
Back to the bar.
The infamous 5 head out the door at about 21:45.
Two are wise.
The rest of us shiver.
There is a grassy patch to be crossed between the car park and the road.
No mud. But a requirement to tippy toe a little when wearing heels.
Where has the entrance been moved to?
Emma heads down the slope.
As a car heads up the slope a thought crosses Andreas mind
maybe the steps are there for a reason.
£7 purchases a little green ticket. Or sometimes a red one.
Handbags are checked.
Two guards smile and say hello as we pass.
Up the steps.
Entrance in exchange for a green ticket. Or a red one.
The dance floor is fairly empty at this time of night. Quiet. But not quiet.
We find the stairs, get some drinks and sit and chat a while.
We are amazed at the amount of technology.
The polar bear is no longer there. Replaced by a bank of technology.
The discovery of the evening remains undiscovered for only a short while.
The Pink Room.
Just to the right of the place once occupied by the polar bear.
A couple of girls from the hotel sit and chat a while. They are here for a hen party, but the hen has not yet arrived. The hen will be in white. The girls are in black. With little wings. They aren’t great fans of the wings.
Mia becomes a bigger and bigger fan of the Pink room.
Photographic evidence is a requirement, it seems.
So here is the Pink room in all of its pinkness.
Andrea
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Mia
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Guess who?
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Emma.
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Mel and Emma.
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Emma, Andrea, Mia, Mel and Molly.
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Lucy and Adele.
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Mia emphasies the need action. Flamboyance. Life.
We met Molly and Mel in the Pink room and spend a while chatting. They’re lovely. Like quite a few girls they go along to Pink Punters partly because it’s a safe place. A grope-free place. As well as being a great place to go.
The conversation through the evening is varied.
Films. Television. Music.
Home Insurance. Computers. Boilers.
Nightclubs.
Bodies. Friendship.
Addiction to Pink rooms.
The Pink Room.
The history of the Surrey Swans.
High heels.
The possibility of Surrey Swans themed evenings:
Goth. School uniform. Lingerie. The colour Pink.

The Pink Punters photographer visits us.
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We dance.
Lucy even dances in the very loud room.
We chat.
Before we know it, its 04:00.
The wise girls collect coats from the cloakroom.
The hen has arrived.
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We walk across a foggy Watling street accompanied by the girls with wings.
The makeup comes off and it’s 05:30 by the time Andrea climbs into bed.
The alarm set for 11:00.
The alarm goes off at 10:45.
Unfortunately, it’s the hotel fire alarm.
Half-dressed by the time the alarm stops, with no need to evacuate.
So, the schemes didn’t Gang aft agley.
All in all, a lovey evening, night and morning.