Documentaries, Café Rouge and more documentaries

Things have been busy over the past few weeks.

On Sunday November 25th there was a Surrey Swans meeting where we were visited by Nate, Harri, Alex,Terrell, Evie and Elisha from the University for Creative Arts who were putting together a documentary as part of a project for the course that they are studying.

On Monday December 3rd I spent a lovely evening with Tina, Susie and Chloe at Café Rouge in Windsor. It’s always lovely to meet up. And here we are … Chloe, Andrea, Susie and Tina:

Part way through the evening we talked about identity and who we are. Susie shared a simple and yet profound truth. She said that really, she is just herself. She’s not a label. And that is true. It really is.

On Wednesday December 5th I visited UCA in Farnham as a follow up to the documentary. It involved some filming and chatting with people involved with the Trans society there. I found that to be really helpful for me. It was really special to share some thoughts and feelings with younger Trans people. It reminded me a bit of Emily Maguires Song, The Borderline in that we each knew that the borderlines are things that people invent and that really each of us is just a person. The fact that we are trans is an incidental thing. Mainly, we are just people.

A visit to Guildford Police Station

May 31st was the day a group of us from Surrey Swans set for a visit to Guildford Police Station.

In April I’d received an email from Robin, who works there asking if I’d be prepared to visit them and talk about Transgender issues and how they could assist us should we come into contact with the police.

Robin also mentioned that it would be fine if other people came along as well and said that things that would be useful to talk about were things like:

How you discovered that you were Trans. Problems you’ve come across, how you’ve been accepted, or not, whether you’ve been victimised because of it, whether you’ve reported issues to Police and how they responded and how we can do things better ?

We agreed on a date of May 31st and ‘Chelle, Linda, Rose, Amanda and Cynthia said that they’d like to come along as well.

In the event, work commitments meant that Cynthia couldn’t make it.

I’d spent a while thinking about what I’d like say and wrote it down to try and estimate how long it would take to say it, and to try and keep myself from running off at tangents.

I was keen, as well, to provide some tome for everyone else to share some of their own thoughts and experiences.

We met at the Friary shopping centre in Guildford at about 11:00 am for coffee and a chat, and then headed for the police station to arrive there at about 11:50 … it’s a short 10 minute walk. We were met by Robin. Spent a few minutes signing in and headed up to the meeting room on the 7th floor.

Almost 30 people turned up to listen to us. We were a bit surprised. And impressed as well, that so many people would give up their own time to coma along and listen to us.

We spent a little over 30 minutes sharing thoughts and experiences. And had a lovely response from people afterwards.

Hermann, one of the officers at Surrey Police (the tall one in the picture) spent some time sharing about the way that their work is about safeguarding and assisting people.

We spent quite a while eating bread rolls and soup and chatting. It was especially good in that lots of people (including we five visitors) said it had been a useful time and that we’d learned important things.

For me, and I believe also for others, it had been a really valuable time.

Here’s a picture taken after the the talking and before the soup and bread rolls:

If you’re interested in the kind of things that we said, then here is some of it:

Robin (front centre in the picture) introduced us and explained a bit about what we were likely to be talking about.

The script that I worked from was this:

Hello

• Good afternoon, I’m Andrea
• And here are: Chelle, Linda, Amanda and Rose
• We are trans or transgender
• But more than that we are just people
• Each of us have been involved in one way or another with Surrey Swans
• A place where trans people, friends and partners meet socially once a month in Ash

Firstly

• I’d like to begin by saying thank you
• Jo and Michelle came along to Surrey Swans back in 2014 along with Carol (from New Patch) to talk with us about what you do … so it’s nice to return the visit
• When I mentioned this meeting to people at Surrey Swans, I got very positive feedback about the police force … about you.
• We know that what you do makes a difference to people. It makes a difference to us.
• What you do is not just a job
• Isn’t it strange, yesterday I was thinking, there are times when I’m driving and I see a police car, and I feel anxiety. My mind fills with stuff like “I hope my break likes are working. But as Andrea When I see a police officer I feel safe
• So, thank you

A definition of Transgender / Trans is that it is an umbrella term used to cover numerous types of gender identity such as:

• Transsexual
• Transvestite
• Non-binary
• Bi-gendered
• Non-gendered
• Genderfluid
• … etc.
• that’s a lot of diversity

A question:

• How many people here meet trans people on a regular basis?

You know though, whatever trans is:

• Trans is people
• Individual people with unique stories and life experiences
• Not all trans people agree with each other even on all things trans
• I, and all of us here, are not representing the trans community – mainly we are just sharing personal experiences and thoughts

My story … which is different from everyone else’s

Childhood, which was a long time ago. I remember:

• I confusion
• experimentation with clothing

Growing up, as a student and then later, I remember

• Confusion
• What it was all about?
• Just a fetish?
• Becoming a Christianity
• Was it sinful?
• Should I feel guilty?
• Feeling guilty.
• Buying things
• Throwing things away
• Repenting
• Keeping secrets
• Feeling ashamed

By 2006 or so

• The internet – communication with strangers
• I wasn’t the only person in the world like this
• Telling anonymous people
• Buying clothing that was more than underwear
• Someone asking if my wife knew
• Letting my wife find out
• Her coming to terms with it and accepting me
• Neither of us understanding
• Trying makeup and lipstick - Try it sometime … there’s all kinds of possibilities for total disaster.
• Seeing an advertisement for a makeover, clothes and pictures
• Going along
• Being encouraged to tell my wife all about it
• Meeting myself
• Crying
• Telling my children, family, friends
• Learning to be myself
• Working out that really, it’s just about who I am
• If I have a label it’s Genderfluid - People say “what’s that” rather than just go along with a likely incorrect stereotype

And some experiences

• A preacher in Manchester
• A piece of banana at the Arndale centre in Manchester
• Being called a “She-man” in Windsor
• A drunken man in Peascod street in Windsor
• A drunken man in Weatherspoon’s in Manchester
• A visit to Surrey Swans by Surrey police LAGLO’s Swans
• Police officers at Sparkle
• Strangers that say nice things
• Acceptance by friends, family, church people

Linda, Rose and Amanda then shared some of their thoughts and experiences.

And a few more points to finish:·

• Trans people are really just people
• Not a label, a problem or an issue to be dealt with (being trans is not really about bathrooms)

In common with other people:

• Each of us is unique, with our own life stories, fears and dreams
• Sometimes we are still in the process of trying to discover ourselves, understand ourselves and accept ourselves
• We don’t always act logically and sensibly
• We sometimes suffer from uncertainty, stress, confusion, fear and vulnerability

We (all people, not just trans people) mostly just want to be free to be ourselves.

So, in dealing with trans people, as with anyone else, it’s great, whenever possible, to:

• Be polite to us
• Treat us with dignity and courtesy
• Use the pronouns (he, she, they ...) that we prefer. If uncertain then ask us
• Consider our physical and emotional condition
• Be aware that there is a possibility that we are feeling afraid and vulnerable. Talk to us to find out about our own situation.
• Explain what’s happening and why it’s happening
• Try to understand us

And we, on our part, will try to do all of these things when we meet you, because we know that you are people just as much as we are

What we want … what we need … each of us in this room

• To be treated with respect, as we in turn, treat others with respect
• To be listened to just as we listen
• To be accepted … or at least not be intimidated or hated … just as we are accepting

And finally from me:

• Thank you again for listening
• And at Surrey Swans we’re keen to maintain good links with the police service, so pay us a visit soon
• And … ask us questions …

Chelle then shared some thoughts and experiences. She also raised a question as to the kind of definition of “trans” that the police use when safeguarding trans people. We were reassured that the definition is the same one that we talked about near the beginning of the session.

Salons, Cosmetics and Phobias

Wednesday 21st was a really nice day for me.

Alice, a friend at Surrey Swans, had mentioned Julia Lampard’s hair salon in Guildford to me a while back. Julia had been really helpful to Alice and she emailed me to suggest that we meet up some time to talk about the kind of things that the salon does that might be of use to people that come along to Surrey Swans. So I visited Guildford on Wednesday and met Julia and Mariam at the salon. It was lovely to meet them both, to talk things over and to take a look at the salon. If there’s sufficient interest then Julia is thinking of organising an evening were people from Surrey Swans can come along to the salon for a chat and refreshments and an opportunity to see what’s available. And she and Mariam made it clear that trans people are welcome at the salon.

Amanda, another friend from Surrey Swans, had also mentioned a while back that people working within the cosmetics departments at House of Fraser were keen to be of service to Trans people. So I took the opportunity to call in and say hello. Again, it was really good. They are happy to offer makeup advice and lessons and makeovers without charge. I feel that’s a really positive thing for them to do to help transgender people.

I meet quite a few people who are at the beginning of their own journey of self-acceptance in terms of the gender that they are. And to be able to mention to them places such as Julia Lampard’s and House of Fraser where they can visit in the knowledge that they will be accepted, supported and affirmed is great … it’s a big deal.

On a different note, last year I made some posts about comments and discussions I’d had with people at the Shoebat web site. There’s some background on that here. Over the past several months I’ve made comments on a selection of articles there and been involved in several discussions.

Overall, my feelings about articles on the web site that mention LGBT issues are that the authors suffer from an intense and complex set of phobias that they justify from the way that they interpret what the Bible says. The sad thing is that these articles actually misrepresent LGBT people and, I believe, also misrepresent what the Bible says.

I’ve had some very negative feedback from some people that leave comments on the web site. In the most extreme of these, someone said to me:

Wow you are nothing but a sodomite TRANNY unnatural freak promoter... People like you are why there should be another inquisition... People like you should be executed... You are doing nothing but twisting God's word and I hope some shoots you in the face to stop your evil soon

That didn’t make me feel so good. The person did edit the comment and tone it down a little, and then said:

Ya if you deliberately are twisting God's word then I still do hope someone takes you out... Preferably a sodomite as the irony would be delicious... Keep the email dumbass it's not a threat at all its a simple hope .

And that’s from someone that thinks they are a follower of Jesus.

And yet, someone else said:

You seem to be a caring and decent person. I totally respect that. There is too much hatred in the world today.

So it isn’t all bleak.

Who we are

A friend, Anne Yarwood,  recently asked if I would mind writing something about Surrey Swans for a web site that she has been involved with setting up.

For me, the opportunity to write this was another reminder of the way that things are changing. It was a great encouragement to meet with Anne and talk things through as part of the process of putting it together.

The article is titled Who we are and is on the Stories page of The Imagination Acts web site here.

The text reads like this:

Who we are

In 2003 a group of people began to meet at the function room of the Lion Brewery in Ash, Surrey. They adopted the name Surrey Swans. People have met there 11 or 12 times a year since then.

Those that come long are transgender or the friends or partners of people that are transgender.

I first went along in 2007 and began organising the meetings in 2011.

Why did the meetings begin? And why do they continue?

For me, the story runs something like this.

I was born a boy in the 1950’s. As a teenager, and then as I grew older, I occasionally dressed in clothing that’s generally classified as being ladies.

It was a secret. It resulted in mixed feelings. Pleasure. Guilt. Shame. Sometimes I would buy things. Other times I would throw them away.

In the nineties and noughties things were changing. Trans-related issues began to be discussed openly on WEB sites.

In 2007 I booked a makeover. It felt a bit like meeting myself for the first time. In a way, Andrea was born.

And then Surrey Swans began to make a big difference in my life. To be more precise, people at Surrey Swans made a big difference.

No longer alone. No longer a total secret. Guilt and shame giving way to self-acceptance, wellbeing and healing.

So began a journey.

Today, Surrey Swans matters to me because of the people.

It’s a place where I spend time with friends.

It’s also a place of safety, acceptance and friendship where people who are in the process of discovering themselves can meet other people that are travelling in a similar direction. People who are able to pay attention, to listen, to care, to take seriously and to empathise.

I believe that love is a kind of giving of attention, and of listening. And so, in its way, Surrey Swans is a place where people receive love.

It may be that one day there will be no need of places like Surrey Swans. That our perceived social norms will no longer result in people feeling ashamed or guilty about the way that they dress. That we won’t jump to conclusions about who people are based on stereotyped images projected by the media. We’ll understand that a person is more than the clothing that they choose to wear.

As transgendered people are empowered and encouraged by each other they are more able to go about their daily lives in a way that better reflects who they really are. Able to celebrate rather than self-recriminate.

As people and groups of people that once stigmatised, chastised and criticised learn to tolerate the transgendered. And then to accept them simply as people. And to welcome them.

Until one day, no one even notices.

And little by little this is happening. Right at this very moment.

And some footnotes:

The term transgender is broad. It conjures up other words like transsexual, transvestite and crossdresser. And more modern terms such as genderqueer, gender dysphoric and non-binary.

The same word can mean different things to different people. Different things in different countries. A word that one transgendered person identifies with can sometimes profoundly offend another person.

Here isn’t the place to discuss the precise meaning of these terms. If you’re interested in the meaning you could try here as a beginning: http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Transhealth/Pages/Transhealthhome.aspx

In truth, as with many collective nouns, the words are open to stereotypical abuse.

The only way to begin to find out what the term means to a particular trans person is to spend some time talking with and listening to that particular person. Everyone has a unique and special story. And not everyone fits into a specially predefined category.

Having said that, of the people that I know, each in our own uniqueness, we all agree that our trans-ness isn’t about any label that tries to attach itself to us. Really, it’s just who we are.

andrea.wright@hotmail.co.uk

http://surreyswans.blogspot.co.uk/p/introducing-surrey-swans.html

Quiz nights and Café Rouge

A few weeks ago Linda, Chloe and Chelle who come along to Surrey Swans went along to a quiz night organised by people at St. Mary's Church Ash Vale. They had a great time and were made to feel really welcome by people there. I had hoped to go, but wasn’t able to. Not so long ago Chloe, Rosemary and myself went along to a barn dance organised by the church.

I’ve often-times mentioned my own mixed-up views on religion and, more specifically, Christianity. But I have been greatly encouraged by the openness and acceptance shown by people in the Ash Vale area.

Last week I spent a lovely evening with Tina and Julia at Café Rouge in Windsor. There weren’t many other diners, but the food was excellent as was the service.  And here we are, Julia, Andrea and Tina:

A magazine, an article and a barn dance

Way back in April I received an out-of-the-blue email from Rebecca, the editor of The Parishoner, the Parish Magazine for Ash Vale. Ash Vale is right next to Ash, where Surrey Swans meet. 

This led to the publication of an article which reads, petty much, as follows:

Just people …
 
As I sit and write this, the State of North Carolina has been in the news. Even here in the UK.

 
In connection with this, I read that Ted Cruz has raised the question: “Should a grown man pretending to be a woman, be allowed to use the women’s restroom?” (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-elections/ted-cruz-accuses-donald-trump-of-political-correctness-over-transgender-bathroom-controversy-a6996666.html). I’ll leave you to work out what his answer to that question is.
 
Is that a reasonable characterisation of transgendered people? Men who pretend to be women so that they can get away with using the lady’s restroom? Or perhaps women pretending to be men so that they can use the gents? Or boys pretending to be girls and girls pretending to be boys.
 
And does it matter anyway?
 
To me it matters, because at its heart this is an issue about people. How we understand them and, ultimately, how we come to accept them or reject them.
 
The issues of gender and trans-gender can be complex and here isn’t the place to attempt a detailed analysis of the biology, sociology or psychology of it all. Nor do I have the qualifications to do that.
 
However, I do know many people that identify themselves as being trans. And that’s how I see myself. There’s even a social group that meets together regularly in Ash.
 
I’m happily married and have two grown up daughters. For a long time, my “trans-ness” was a private thing. It took over fifty years for me to reach a position where I could accept myself, be myself and begin to let the secret out. There have, of course, been challenges along the way since that time. But the people that matter to me … family and friends … have batted few eyelids. I feel accepted and loved. I also have a whole lot of new friends.
 
So, who do I think trans people are? And why are trans people the way that they are?
 
Well, of course it is possible to attach labels to us. The box of labels might include little stickers that say things such as transsexual, transvestite, crossdresser, bi-gender or genderqueer.
 
But in reality, each of us is an individual with our own unique life-story. And as with people everywhere, little stickers are never really adequate and they often lead to misunderstanding and injustice.
 
It is a fact that none of the trans people that I know believe that what they are doing is playing dressing up games or games of pretend.
 
When asked “why?”, I find that people are much more likely to respond with something like “it’s who I am” than they are to give a list of reasons “why”. And no one has ever told me that they are who they are because they want to use a different washroom.
 
It isn’t so long ago that people who said this were disbelieved and stigmatised. And sometimes, in some places, this stigmatisation still happens. Thankfully there are also places where things, attitudes and people are changing and the words trans and acceptance are not mutually exclusive.
 
I believe that changes like this begin when people meet each other, talk, and listen to each other. Thus begins a process of understanding and recognition which can lead on to reconciliation and acceptance. Of course, the acceptance isn’t inevitable. But if the process of communication never begins then it’s almost certain that the acceptance will never take place.
 
Most of all, a trans person is just that … a person. We have no need of special treatment. Just the need to be unmolested, allowed to live and allowed to be people.
 
Once upon a time I wrote a letter to the student magazine of the university where I studied. The letter was an attempt at explaining why a marginalised group of people were wrong in the way that they lived. At the time, I thought that I had good intentions. But it shames me to think that I wrote a letter like that without ever having taken the time to talk with any of the people that I was writing about. All that I’d really done was read books.
 
The irony is that trans people have a history of being stereotyped, misunderstood, marginalised and stigmatised.
 
From a trans perspective, I believe that to begin to get beyond this we need to see the word trans as representing something more than a set of things or issues. It’s actually all about people. And really, the only way to begin to understand what trans means is to get to know the people.
 
And I believe that knowing the people would help answer questions like those raised by Ted Cruz in a way that treats people as people rather than as issues.
 
So, I’d encourage all of us, everywhere, that before we put pen to paper, fingertips to keyboards or words to mouth, to think about the people rather than the issues.
 
Of course this doesn’t just apply to the way we deal with trans. A lot of other words come to mind as well. For me, all those years ago I allowed words that I had read to cloud my vision of people. And each day I have to challenge myself to watch the news and to think of people when I hear words such as refugee, migrant, homeless, Islam, Christian. 
 
For more background on trans-related issues you could begin by looking here: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Gender-dysphoria.
 
And I can be contacted here: andrea.wright@hotmail.co.uk

 

The article was published in August.

Rebecca suggested that it might be good if some Surrey Swans would be able to get to know some of the parishioners, and vice-versa.

So, as an outworking of that, Chloe, Rosemary and I went along to a barn dance at Ash on October 22nd.

We had a great time.

Although I don’t have much in the way of “faith” at the moment, it’s encouraging to see that a church is OK with people that don’t know what the answers are and also isn’t claiming to have all of the answers to all of the questions.

The vicar took the time to ask how the church could be more welcoming to trans people. I think in the end he summed it up well in saying that there’s maybe some educating and then forgetting. In the sense that it’s about people looking at someone and not being especially concerned about them as being trans … or anything else … but just accepting them as people.

An especially good thing about the evening for me, was that I felt that’s what people did. Dancing, talking with people, visiting the loo. No one seemed worried.

I mentioned a conversation I had with some very close family friends when I “came out” to them as being trans. I remember them saying that a church house group that they led at one time had a trans person that would come along. I said I thought that was great that they could do that, but the thing I found difficult was that I suspected that although the person was allowed into the group, most people would be praying for them to be healed of their trans-ness. At that point it had taken me a lifetime to work out that my own trans-ness was about who I am, and accepting … even being happy … with the fact that it didn’t need healing. The vicar asked if the real healing began when I was able to begin to accept myself as myself. And yes, I thing that it did. I hadn’t thought of it that way before.

Quite a few years ago my wife Sally and I used to go along to a local Baptist church, at the same time as a couple that moved to Ash. We knew that they went to an Anglican church there. Also, we knew that if “the article” included a picture of Andrea and Katie (our younger daughter), that they might not recognise Andrea, but might well recognise Katie.

So … when I saw them arrive at the barn dance … I went over to say hello.

They didn’t recognise me … which, I must admit, I was relieved about. Then, as the penny dropped, there was a bit of a feeling that their jaws dropped. But only a bit.

Later in the evening I had a chance to spend some time chatting with them both, and that was great.

It’s odd though, that I don’t know how they felt about the idea of Andy also being Andrea. I hope they were as un-phased as they seemed.

So, the barn dance was part of the ongoing story of my own life and the people that I know. And that means a lot to me.

Surrey Swans, Police People and LAGLOs

Last Sunday Surrey Swans had a visit from a Surrey Police LAGLO, Jo along with Carol and Michelle.

You can read about it here. It was a really informative evening with over 20 people coming along.

I went along in a dress like this:

 

 

Which would have looked more like this if it had been a bit shorter:

 

 

Pre-Swans Pictures

Last night was one of the regular monthly meetings of the Surrey Swans.

There were about 19 of us, 6 of whom were newcomers. It was really nice to meet them, and the not-so-newcomers as well, of course.

I took a few pictures just before setting off and here are a few of them.

 

 

 

At the Swans

I described the the first two days of filming here … along with how it came about and what it’s about.

The rest of the filming happened at the Surrey Swans meeting on Sunday November 24th.

The meeting was unusual in several respects.

There were over 20 people there which was great.

There were four new people – Saffy, Gina,Carole and Louise – which was fantastic. It was great to meet them.

There was also the film crew, which was unprecedented.

The crew consisted of James, Sinead, Vlad, Lexie and Xander from the University for Creative Arts, Farnham. They are making a short (5 to 7 minute) film and are including some footage from Surrey Swans.

They arrived before anyone else so that they could spend some time interviewing Mike who runs the pub where Surrey Swans meet.

At about 7:30 they dropped by the room where the Swans actually meet.

During the evening they filmed general goings on and also interviewed several volunteers.

Xander and Vlad with cameras.

Vlad lines up the shot:

Vlad, Xander, Lexie (with thumbs up) and James setting things up for an interview.

Adrianne being interviewed:

There was a band called No Lip playing in the main bar.

James asked if anyone was ok with the idea of being filmed as part of a No Lip audience. So half a dozen, or maybe more, of us spent a while tapping our feet in the bar.

No Lip in the main bar:

The crew take a break. Lexie, Sinead, Vlad and Xander.

Shooting the juke box. I think the song was Girls Night Out.

Another interview:

Farewells:

The end of the evening: Xander, Lexie, James, Andrea, Vlad and Sinead.

We’re hoping that we’ll be re-visited by the team at the end of January 2014 so they can show us the end results of all their hard work.

For me the evening was very special for several reasons.

It’s great to spend time with friends.

It’s especially great to welcome new people to meetings.

The film crew were also great. Very friendly, helpful, unobtrusive and professional in everything that they did. Fantastic.

I feel that it’s good to open up the transgendered world to help people better understand it.

And it’s my hope that the making of the film will have helped James, Sinead, Lexie, Vlad and Xander understand us a bit better.

And that it’ll also help the tutors and other students on the course in the same way when they get to see the finished product.

The trip to the main bar was also unusual. Individuals have always done this from time to time, but it was unusual for so many of the group to be there together.

Again it’s all part of the process of making it not so unusual for transgendered people, in this case mainly transvestites, to be around in ordinary everyday kind of situations with no one feeling that it’s especially weird.

As this type of thing happens more and more, society … and individuals within society … will be given a chance to re-examine their preconceived ideas and learn to accept the transgendered simply as people.

A night with the Swans

Last Sunday (July 28) was a Surrey Swans evening.

Brenda was passing out a few envelopes to people.

Being a little nosey, I ask Tina what’s it all about.

“Ladies day at Brighton Races” says Tina.

“Do you have to wear a big hat?”

“I asked, but didn’t hear back yet.” says Tina.

“’Chelle, what’s the position with hats?” asks Tina.

‘Chelle looks somewhat perplexed.

“They look best on your head” contribute several people.

“On your own head be it” giggles Laura.

The consensus is that the hats are optional.

The theme for the evening is School Uniforms. There are over 20 girls in attendance, with about a third being dressed in a manner befitting the theme.

 

I don’t often get a chance to wear my Anne Summers school uniform, so the evening is a special pleasure.

“And are you wearing the Spank Me’s?” asks Laura.

Whilst collecting money for the raffle tickets, Laura proves to the whole world that indeed I am:

I did survive the evening, though, without being spanked at all.

And no, I’m not going to ask if my bum looks big in them.

Claire had organised the school examinations for the evening.

During this we discover what a bumbershoot is and by about 10:30pm we each wish that we had one.

I take a guess at the band that was named after the volume of semen produced during an average male ejaculation and get one. A point in the quiz that is – what else did you think I meant?

In fact, it seems that the whole thing is a myth. 10cc were really named after a band that Jonathan King dreamed about. Otherwise they would have been called somewhere between 2cc and 5cc. 10cc would have been a definite case of hyperspermia.

Emma took the prize, the quiz prize, with 17 out of 20 … a massive 85%. 

Surrey Swans, boobs, and lingerie

Last night was a regular Surrey Swans get together. It was different in that it was actually warm enough to sit outside for a while in the early evening.

This did pose some challenges.

Four of us were sitting at a table. Myself, Laura, Chelle and Brenda.

“Hello Andrea” says Chelle.

We struggle to see each other. The sunshade / parasol is down and positioned right between us.

“Maybe we can take it out”, says I.

Then, after a short struggle.

“Maybe it would be easier to just put it up” says Brenda.

So I hold onto the pole with my left hand and the sliding bit with my left and start pushing.

“Omg …” says Andrea.

“What’s up dear?” asks Laura.

“I think I’m losing a boob”.

At this moment Andrea loses interest in the parasol and catches the boob as it slides out from under her blouse.

The opening of the parasol is completed with an upturned silicone boob sitting on the table.

As I slide it back into place it reminds me of a joke I first heard as a schoolboy. I share it with the others.

"A friend placed his left hand on his chest and solemnly declared ‘You know, sometimes I feel a right tit.' "

We giggle like a group of schoolgirls.

Rozz is serving drinks for the night. It’s really nice to see her again.

Part way into the evening Claire introduces herself.

It seems that in the near future she’s running a lingerie sale kind of event at the pub as a charity fund raising event. Mike, who runs the pub, had mentioned to her that we might be interested in the lingerie. So she asked if we’d be interested in taking a look at some catalogues that she had brought.

Oh and the lingerie as well.

Things were then quiet for a little while as people studiously looked through the catalogues.

 

 

The pictures were taken just before the rack of lingerie was assembled.

It was really nice to meet Claire and she was really helpful to everyone. I think a few people had checks on bra sizes.

On checking with Emma, it seems that the first ever Surrey Swans meeting was in September 2003. So in September 2013 we’ll be 10 years old. That’s cool.

Surrey Swans and what Laura did

There was a Surrey Swans meeting last Sunday (October 28th).

I enjoyed the evening a lot. Here I am with Laura. You can just see Emma in the background.

There are some more pictures on the Surrey Swans blog page here.

During the evening I chatted a while with Laura, who recounted this tale of recent events:

I (that is Laura) was hanging out some washing outside my flat. Dressed in an unusually short skirt, stockings and heels, amongst other things.

Whilst doing this I heard someone putting some rubbish in the bin, just round the corner out of sight.

I thought nothing of it until I got to the communal back door. Whoever had been emptying the rubbish had found the door open and not noticing me hanging out the washing had closed the door and bolted it.

There I was. A shorter than usual skirt, heels, stockings and things.

And I couldn’t get in.

Gulp.

I (Andrea) am not sure how unusually short the skirt was. But, in the circumstances, I might well have gulped a little as well. As it was, the thought just made me smile.

“I looked up at the fence round the back yard”, she told me.

“How high is it … maybe 5 feet?” I asked.

“It’s taller than me, even in heels” says Laura. “Well above my head.”

That might make it almost 7 feet tall.

“I thought about climbing over it” says she.

“That would be a sight worth vide-recording” says I, thinking of the sight of Laura in a shorter than usual skirt, stockings and heels climbing a 7 feet high fence.

“But then, I spotted a guy at the window of one of the flats and signalled him and asked him if he could let me in. And he did.”

And so Laura managed to get back in again without climbing any fences at all.

The moral of the story is, of course:

if you see a door that is left open …

and if you decide to close it and bolt it without checking if anyone is going to be locked out …

then please let me (Andrea) know so that I can get out the video recorder and capture the moment of anyone in an unusually short skirt, stockings and heels that is attempting to climb over a 7 feet high fence

Thanks for sharing the story Laura … the thought still makes me smile

Oh … and hello Elina. You know who you are and you are a sweetie!

June 24 2012 at Surrey Swans

There were about a dozen girls at the Surrey Swans meeting on June 24th.

As always it was really nice to chat and catch up on news.

The alternative t Surrey Swans on the day, was the England football match against Italy in the European championships. Early in the evening Sophie quipped she was glad to be be able to get along to the Swans as a good excuse not to suffer the agony of watching England play. How right she was … it was painful enough to hear what was happening during the penalty shoot out via mobile phones.

Here are a few pictures of people that were there.

First is Rozz, who has the extremely important role of taking orders for drinks and food. She’s served at the bar for quite a few months now. Her actual name begins with a U, but she says it’s really hard to pronounce. The necklace was a prize included in the raffle that we’d held earlier.

The raffle took a surprisingly long time … people kept winning second, even a third, prize and re-donating the prize for a re-draw. It went on and on …

Here’s Adrianne:

And Chelle and Linda:

And Christina who was visiting the Swans for the first time:

A girlie kind of weekend

My wife, Sally, was away for the weekend, and so was Tina’s wife so we Tina and I planned a girlie weekend.

Arrived at home at about 6:15 pm on Friday to begin preparations before getting prepared. Washing dishes, feeding cats, printing out a driving route.

Phone plays its tune. Katie, my daughter, asks what I’m doing over the weekend. I mention Candygirls. She asks about Sunday and the possibility of visiting her on Fathers day. She’s busy, busy, busy revising for exams at the moment and Hammersmith isn’t far away. We plan a visit.

Phone plays again. Tina is setting off and will be here in half an hour.

Now the real preparations.

Almost 8:00 pm. Makeup is finished and I’m ready. Foundation. Silver and bronze shadow, black liner and mascara, red lips, pink rouge. Long polka dot dress.

Food. A trip to yell.com for a phone number. The man at The Blossoms of Windsor answers.

Sweet and sour chicken, chilli shredded beef, egg fried rice and prawn crackers.

Five minutes later we drive to The Blossoms to collect the food.

Soon after 9:00 pm I change … a shorter black dress. I pick up a bottle of wine and we’re on the road to Candygirls.

About 30 minutes later we’re there. Reception is deserted. Everyone’s watching football (England .v. Sweden).

We pay and head upstairs. Depositing the wine at the bar we have a small glass each. Quoting the number 33 later will provide us with refills.

The bar area is sparsely populated at first, but fills up once the football match is over.

Of course, we’re unable to avoid the lure of the dungeon. It took an amazingly long time to work out how the buckles on those wristbands worked. I checked the area for the absence of whips and paddles and hung around long enough for Tina to take the picture and unbind me.

 

Time flies.

2:00 am and it’s time for home.

Saturday is a trip to Pink Punters. Tina has volunteered to drive there and back … the Campanile hotel rooms are double the normal cost for some reason and Tina needs to head for the South coast early on Sunday. 

Tina arrives at about 6:00 pm. We get made up and changed and head out for a meal at Cafe Rouge in Windsor. Parking at the local library is free for local residents in the evening. As I collect a ticket from the pay and display machine the man behind me expresses his amazement that the machine is actually working. As ever, the staff at Cafe Rouge are charming. We order Saumon à la Niçoise and Boeuf Bourguignon, a glass of Merlot and a bottle of Hoegaarden. And I only just now discovered, that to visit the Hoegaarden web site you must be of legal drinking age … so i guess you had better not click the link if you’re not.

Then Coupe Rouge and Crème Brûlée.

A little before 9:00 pm it’s back home to change into another of those little black dresses and we head for Pink Punters.

A308, A332, M4, M25, M1, A5, a little over 50 miles and we’re there.

A lot has changed since last time we were there. The entrance has moved and there are walls and doors were there used to be no walls and doors.

It’s a quiet kind of evening … well, except for the music

Upstairs there are new facilities, including a unisex toilet area. The sign makes me smile.

We smile at a tgirl dressed in not a lot more than tape with the words ‘crime scene do not enter’.

Talk a while with a tgirl from Wellingborough.

Dance bit.

A girl almost trips over a step close to where we’re sitting and has a little conversation with us both. Admiring dresses and expressing frustration about steps.

A party of people head down the stairs towards the dance floor. A girl smiles and waves. I smile and wave back. It’s her birthday she says, pointing ahead at someone who is part way down the stairs. I smile. Come for a dance she says and blows a kiss.

And it’s 2:00 am.

At the exit a girl tells me that I have great legs and makes me smile.

A kinda quiet, but very pleasant evening.

Surrey Swans next Sunday and Sparkle is only a few weeks away.

Swans, Diamonds and BBC Radio Berkshire

Last Sunday was a Surrey Swans night. We had a visit from Lynne and Claire from Femesque. It was an excellent evening. Great to meet up with people. There’s more detail and some pictures here.

On Friday I’m scheduled to visit BBC Radio Berkshire for an interview about what it’s like being a TV in Berkshire and in general. Billie and Kathie had first been approached but weren’t able to take part. When they mentioned the possibility to me I was happy to volunteer.

If you’re interested in listening in, the radio station can be listened to, live, online here. It’s the Anne Diamond show and I’m due to be there on Friday 2nd March from noon until about 12:45 pm UK time. Normally the show is hosted by Anne Diamond, but this week Bill Buckley is in charge. If you miss the live broadcast but would like to hear a recording then I think it’ll be available for about a week here.

I’m looking forwards to the experience, though I admit, with some nervousness. I don’t know exactly what I’ll be asked or what I’ll say. But that doesn’t particularly worry me. All I can do is say what I think and feel.

My thumb is feeling a lot better. Nail-less but also bandage-free. It looks a little odd, but so do I sometimes when I’m all dressed up.

TV Dinners, Swans and new Friends

Work continues to occupy way more of my time than I’d like it to. But there have been pleasant interludes.

The Christmas TV dinner at Billie and Kathie’s was great. Sally came along as well, and it was really nice to see Tina, Laura, Julia, Nikki, Billie, Kathie, Katie, Jan and everyone else …

The Surrey Swans meeting at the end of November was fun as well. Good to catch up on things with Emma and others. A few new people have been able to get along as well which is really nice … even someone that actually lives in Transylvania has been along a couple of times now.

Several weeks ago I received an email asking for some information about the Surrey Swans group.

I'm very shy and nervous and not very confident as I’ve not been out before … I really want to start enjoying my TV life …

Since then Rachel’s had a meal with Sally and myself and is looking forwards to getting along to the Surrey Swans meeting in January next year. It was really nice to meet Rachel… and a privilege to be one of the first people to ever meet her. It will be really nice getting to know her better.

The hotel is booked for Sparkle 2012 and hopefully a few of us will be able to get along to Pink Punters sometime early in 2012,

Pink Punters, Surrey Swans, TV Dinners, Ten Pin Bowling, Fingernails, Life, Death and Ecclesiastes

Since last writing things have been busy in a mostly nice kind of way.

Pink Punters on 4th December with Laura was a really nice evening. For a surprisingly long time we felt a little like the only TV’s in the village … but as the evening progressed more people arrived.

The photographer for the evening took these:

Laura and Andrea

And again …

 

The originals being here and here. And lots of the whole evening being here.

We talked a fair bit about life and the universe and things. Things that matter to us. Where we’ve come from. And the at peace kind of feeling that we have in being able to be ourselves.

It’s kind of interesting … we both see ourselves as transvestites and not transsexuals … and yet we bot feel that the girl in us is much nicer than the guy. Somehow there’s a sense of peace in Andrea that isn’t quite there in the masculine side of me.

There were no unusual incidents in the ladies.

On one trip to the dance floor a guy waved at me for some reason and we danced a little with a few of the girls there. A girl said she liked my dress a lot and asked where I’d got it … and we admired each others shoes.

A guy that had drunk rather a lot … or at least it seemed that way … came and sat beside Laura and started chatting. It wasn’t easy to make out what he was saying. After he put his hand on Laura’s leg a couple of times she explained to him he needed to keep his hands to himself. So he wandered off. No unpleasantness. And … well … Laura does have very nice legs.

We headed back to the hotel a little before 4:00 am so it was a relatively early night as nights at Pink Punters go.

The Sunday before that had been an evening at the Surrey Swans. Good to catch up a little with Billie and Kathie, Tina and Emma and others.

The Tuesday after (December 7th) was a Christmas TV dinner at Billie and Kathie’s. As always … excellent food and company. Nikki was there and had plenty to share about trips to all kinds of interesting places. It was great to see Laura, Julia, Tina and Katie as well as others. I was all red and white.. I’d borrowed a Christmas hat of Sally’s to wear so it was quite funny and sweet to see Laura wearing a very similar one. You know the kind … red with white fur trimmings and a white ball kinda thing hanging from the pointy bit. I think it was Nikki that said something about it being impolite to play with each others balls. We just smiled in an innocent girlie kind of way.

Last Saturday we were invited out to the Sunningdale Savoy Chorus Gilbert & Sullivan and Christmas Music evening by Anne and David. Two lovely people that Sally met quite a log time ago and I’ve known for quite a few years now as well. I occasionally help them out when they have computer problems and they are so sweet … they absolutely insist on making contributions to what Anne affectionately refers to as my “dresses fund”. The music was very good. The MC introduced one of the Christmas songs as being one of his favourites … In the Bleak Midwinter. This was also one of mine in days gone by. Especially the verses:

Our God, heaven cannot hold Him, nor earth sustain;
Heaven and earth shall flee away when He comes to reign.
In the bleak midwinter a stable place sufficed
The Lord God Almighty, Jesus Christ.

What can I give Him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;
If I were a Wise Man, I would do my part;
Yet what I can I give Him: give my heart.

These days I sit and listen to songs such as this … quietly wondering.

Towards the end of the evening we sat and drank and chatted a while. David and I wondered a little about where everything came from … big bangs … infinite universes … butterfly effects. And decided that really … we have no idea. Life is such a tenuous kind of thing.

Sally and I had some difficult words. I wish I was more Andrea more of the time. Not so much in a dressed up or made up kind of sense.

Yesterday the company night out was at a bowling alley in Slough. Ten pin bowling is not good for a girls fingernails … even when the girl is a guy. But … I scored a lifetime best … and top score of the evening. But … my poor nails. 

On Thursday is the funeral of Michael. His mum is staying with us tonight and tomorrow. There are no words to say. Perhaps there is a God that can help us all make sense of it someday. Over Christmas I’ll have a chance to read the book recommended by Dani that will, perhaps, help me make some kind of sense of it.

Life is such a mixture. It reminds me of a passage in the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible:

To every thing there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; 
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; 
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; 
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; 
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; 
A time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; 
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; 
A time of war, and a time of peace.

Or as it is here:

Somehow though, I think the thing is to try and work out some kind of way to have some kind of inner peace in all of this. But I don’t know how to do that.

Andreas Outings and Being Different

Last week was the first time in what seems ever so long that I had a trip out as Andrea. It was to a monthly TV Dinner at Kathie and Billie’s.

The food was excellent … as was the company.

Nikki had news of a recent trip to Pink Punters … an evening of champagne, good company and dancing. I was envious.

It was great to catch up with Tina, Julia, Tania and Katie as well as Billie and Kathie and everyone else.

I’ve heard really nice things about Femesque and am need of a change in hair and also makeup hints and tips are always welcome. So I hope to pay a visit sometime soon.

This coming Sunday, being the last in the month, is a Surrey Swans day. So that’ll be nice. And there’s a chance of a visit to Candy Girls with Tina in October.

I’m frequently challenged at my own attitudes to things and to people.

As a t-girl myself I have developed … or maybe acquired … a set of preconceptions.

Yet the transgendered “scene” challenges these fairly frequently.

Most t-girls that I’ve met are keen to express femininity in the way they dress and makeup.

Of course there is a particular kind of view of femininity here. And it’s not the only one. I’ll call this particular view of femininity “t-girl femininity”.

There are people in the transgendered community though that have a different view of things. People with beards … less makeup … stubbly chins … an unconventional dress sense.

There are t-girls who will only venture out into public because they feel they will not be spotted. And others that can’t venture out for fear of being spotted.

And there are ways in which a transsexual perspective on things can be quite different from a transvestite perspective.

When I go out I accept the fact that some people will spot me as a transvestite. But, something I learned from Fiona Floyd quite a while ago … that’s what I am. And so it need be no big deal. And yet …  it depends on who notices and how they react.

It is, I think, about accepting differences. People being able to accept transvestites like me as just being different. Just as I must accept other people in the transgendered community as being different. And all kinds of other people as being different.

Different isn’t bad. It’s not always easy. But in itself it isn’t bad.

Sparkle, Swans, Vibrations and Dancing

Last Sunday was a Surrey Swans evening.

As ever … really good to get a chance to see people … Laura, Billie, Kathie, Tina, Emma …

We talked about Sparkle … what we might do when we get there … will we go to the ball … what will we wear … what time will we arrive …

I bought the usual two raffle tickets … and won a bottle of wine!

To use an English colloquialism … part way through the evening I need to spend a penny.

It’s amazing the things I am still discovering.

On previous visits to the Surrey Swans venue (which is just a regular kind of pub), when I’d needed to visit the loo I’d been to the unisex disabled room. On this occasion it was occupied so I popped into the ladies.

I was amazed at what you could purchase there whilst visiting … so I took a picture of the vending machine … and here it is:

Well … the fruity condoms aren’t so unusual I guess …

I have no idea at all what you can buy in the gents toilets.

We also spent a while discussing Pink Punters … we have a trip there organised f0r May 8th.

The first time ever that I visited Pink Punters was on May 9th 2008. You can read all about it here.

Dianne took some video of the dancing lesson that I had then. I posted some stills way back then … and at long last have posted the whole thing … and here it is:

 

If you look carefully you get glimpses of Laura and Sarah as well as me.

Swans, wigs and hair cuts

Sunday was a Surrey Swans evening with an opportunity to see how new life can be breathed into a not so new wig.

I’d never really given much thought to the prospect of a wig cut and blow dry. Now I know better.

Amanda had brought along a rather big wig, Lynne gave a demonstration of how it could be revived.

And wow … what a difference … as you can see…

Amanda, with lots of hair, and Lynne.

 

The brushing continues.

 

Razor rather than scissors.

Drying.

The alternative audience looks on …

 

Almost done.

The end product. And yes … it is the same hair … only different.

Lynne has many years of experience working with hair. And, somewhat unusually, a lot in styling wigs to suit individual people.

And there was me … thinking that a wig was a wig. But it can be more than that and can be personalized.

Everyone I chatted with was impressed. Very impressed. 

And some of the real audience.