Showing posts with label fiona floyd. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fiona floyd. Show all posts

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Tragedy, TV Dinners and Born Beautiful

There are times when I feel life is complex and full of difficult decisions.

The things that get reported on the news bring things back into focus.

Today there was news of the coach crash in Switzerland were so many people, mostly schoolchildren, were killed.

It makes all the difficult decisions seem so trivial in comparison.

There is a song by Emily Saliers (Indigo Girls) called The Philosophy of Loss which comes to mind. It includes the following:

Whatever has happened to anyone else
Could happen to you and to me
And the end of my youth was the possible truth
That it all happens randomly

And my youth ends, again.

Last night was a TV dinner at Billie & Kathie’s. The food and company was excellent as ever.

We discovered that Billie & Kathie were married for three years before they told almost anyone … only the registrar and a couple of witnesses knew. It was a revelation, and really funny as well, to hear of the pseudo-wedding that they had for friends and family after three years after the real thing.

It was quite a giggle as well to see Laura passing one of her puppies around. There were sensible kind of reasons for this … but I don’t remember what they were.

Laura mentioned that she had sent an email to The Coalition for Marriage to explain that she disagreed with them. That was really cool. She also signed the petition at The Coalition for Equal Marriage.

It was good, as well, to catch up a little with Nikki, while I hadn’t seen for a while, and also with Tina.

Last week I also discovered that Fiona Floyd is about to re-begin Born Beautiful. That was really great news. Back in 2007 Fiona was the person that first ever met Andrea. So Fiona is a really special person to me. Fiona has mentioned me as well on her testimonials page. I’m looking forwards to booking an appointment!

Saturday, 24 April 2010

Virtuality, fantasy, reality and phenomenology

It’s strange how things change sometimes without you even noticing.

A couple of nights ago I spent some time on Yahoo Messenger chatting with a friend. Sally was watching Liverpool lose a soccer match.  We shared some of our favourite music and courtesy of YouTube were able to listen to and see the people that we were talking about. It was great! I discovered some new music that I’d never come across before … and it was really nice to chat.

There are so many things that we can do that just weren’t possible even just a few years ago.

The Internet opens up a whole new world of possibilities.

Reminds me also of the AOL adverts of a while ago … is the Internet a bad thing

  

or is it a good thing:

 

In fact, like many things in life, the Internet is what people make of it.

As a Trannie it has made a big difference to me. Helping me discover that I’m not alone in the world. That I’m not so weird or perverted as some people would say that I am. Provided a way of contacting other people. Helped me realise and believe that it’s OK to be who I am and be the way that I am.

I know … some people would say that even in this the Internet is a bad thing … helping the perverted and the abominable to become acceptable.

During my lunchtime walk I thought some about … well virtuality I guess. For a moment I thought I might have invented a word there … but Google knows better … it’s a movie and a television series. There are about 772,000 relevant web pages. No sponsored links though … so that’s something at least.

It’s possible to live a big chunk of life in a virtual kind of world. Internet chat rooms … Facebook … blogs … computer games.

In a way it’s not so different from books and television … but the added attraction of interaction with other things and with people is kinda compelling for many people.

Thoughts of The Matrix crossed my mind:

 

I mean … philosophically speaking … it’s not easy to actually prove that we are all any more than a dream that God is having. Which reminds me of a movie called Dark Star and of Phenomenology.

 

Some people seem to be very much into reality … and anti virtuality.

My own feelings are that … well … it depends.

The phrase “it depends” is one of my favourites … and the word “maƱana”.

There’s a sense in which the ability to inhabit a virtual world is one of those things that makes it special to be human.

There are things that people can do in a virtual world that would be impossible for them to do in the real world.

There are maybe some things that are better kept virtual … the reality being a real disappointment compared with the fantasy.

With other things the reality far exceeds the fantasy. For myself, for example, the first view I had of "”Andrea” at Fiona Floyds (http://andrea-wright.blogspot.com/2007/05/new-arrival.html) blew me away.

There are maybe different shades to reality.

For many transvestites that I know … myself included … the dressing thing began as a secret in-private thing that only happened in a virtual kind-of world. For some that’s where it remains.

For others it moves on. For me … the first makeover … Sally seeing me … the first step out onto a street … a visit to a pub … the first time out to a venue where I didn’t know anyone … telling Sarah and Katie about Andrea …  the first Pink Punters … shopping and eating in Windsor.

All have been steps in moving from fantasy towards reality. And It’s mattered a lot to me because Andrea is part of who I am … my reality.

But it’s different for different people.

In the end I think the right mix between virtuality and reality is different. Everyone experiences both. For some the fantasy is sufficient … for others it’s not. It depends on the people … and depends on the fantasy.

Monday, 19 October 2009

Windsor, Hare Krishna and TVs

Saturday 17th was another chance to go walkabout in Windsor.

One of the challenges of doing this as a tgirl is allowing all the extra time that is needed for makeup and selection of clothing.

The makeup actually begins on Friday night with nail polish. Sally suggests I go pink. And so I do. For a while. Three coats of Urban Princess. Then an accidental argument … my thumbnail versus a door handle … changes everything. The pink stuff taking for ever to harden. So off it comes. To be followed by two coats of bright red Hot Gossip and one of 3 in 1.

At round about 9:30 on Saturday morning I begin the final preparations.

I’m still not skilled enough with makeup to manage much in the way of subtlety. I know that there are different looks … nightclub chick … everyday smart … casual … and all the in-betweens as well.

I just go for a little less foundation. Paler eye shadow. A little less eye liner and mascara. Pink lips instead of ruby red. Thoughts of Urban Princess versus Hot Gossip momentarily pass through my mind.

I select a bra that isn’t front fastening. Having it come undone in the middle of Windsor would be way more inconvenient than the time that it did at Pink Punters. I have discovered that when your boobs aren’t attached to your body it’s really important to have a bra that is unlikely to pop open. The bra is black – one of a pair that I bought at Peacock’s in Bristol - £6 for two.

A mid length denim skirt and red top – courtesy of M&S.

Shoes with low heels.

As I put them on I know they don’t feel anywhere near so good as four and a half inch stilettos. I know, also, that in an hours time I’ll be glad that they are nice and low.

I’m all ready by about 10:50. It’s kinda nice to just potter around the house and relax for a few minutes.

Sally has been busy all morning doing stuff in the garden.

I’ve managed to train her into realising that Andrea’s nails are way to delicate for such tasks. But I do make the coffee.

Tina arrives at about 11:30 just as Sally heads out to play golf.

The comic irony of the situation isn’t lost … wife out on the golf course … hubby out shopping in a skirt.

After applying a few finishing touches we head for the car.

There are a couple of neighbours chatting a few houses down the street. I resist the urge to wave and say hello. I also resist the urge to run back to the house. I have no idea if I am recognised. If I am then I am. Mostly people seem not to notice. But I would be even less noticeable if I were shorter than six feet tall.

Tina drives and mostly I remember to say which way to go.

Arriving at the car park in Victoria Street we pay at the pay and display meter and head off for the town centre.

Alas, Shoe Fetish is no more. It’s been replaced by a shop that sells motor scooters.

We walk slowly.

There are one or two quizzical kind of looks as we walk past people. It must be our husky voices.

But no one pulls faces or passes comments.

Gazing into a few shop windows we wander up Peascod Street from the St Leonard’s Road end.

Turning into King Edward Court we go into the British Heart Foundation charity shop and take a look around.

I see a white handbag – I have white shoes but no white handbag. It’s in excellent condition and a snip at £2,75. The lady at the till doesn’t really look at me as I pay.

We pay a visit to Fenwick’s. Then Boots, Daniels and Marks & Spencer.

Then on to Cafe Rouge. The place is pretty busy. The staff are, as always, very helpful and friendly. The other diners pay us no attention.

I order a Hoegaarden beer, Tina a lemonade. The food arrives very promptly and is excellent.

We chat about girlie kinds of things.

The waitress drops by … “Is everything alright for you, ladies?” It makes me smile.

It’s then a walk along to the castle and a photo opportunity or two.

CIMG0902_720x960

As I pose a little and Tina juggles two cameras a group of ladies walk by.

“Would you like me to take a picture of you both?” asks one of the ladies. We gratefully accept the offer, and she takes a picture with each of the cameras.

 

CIMG0904_1280x960

Then on down to the riverside. Tina changes her boots for a pair of flat shoes.

We should have brought some bread for the ducks and swans.

 

HPIM1185_719x960

On the way back to the car park we call in at WH Smiths where Tina buys a newspaper.

As we stroll back down Peascod Street a man approaches us.

“Hello.”

“Hello.”

Brief introductions.

“What’s your name?”

“Andrea.”

“Is that your real name?”

“Of course.”

“And yours?”

“Tina.”

“Is that your real name?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I’m afraid that I have to tell you that you’ve exceeded the local limits for looking cool and being hip whilst out in public. So I’m going to have to ask you to pay a voluntary fine as a penalty.”

Of course, we are smiling well before this.

The man’s eyesight is, of course, immediately suspect.

Actually he is a member of a Hare Krishna group raising money to help support homeless people.

His western name is John … his spiritual name is much more complex.

We make a donation and he gives me a booklet … pink to match the colour of my lips he says.

“Do you have blue ones for boys?” asks Andrea.

“But of course.”

Back to the car and home.

CIMG0911_1280x960

Each little trip out helps me feel more relaxed than the last time.

I have the feeling that Windsor town centre is a good and relatively safe kind of place for a transvestite to wander around in. People manage to “read” me without a lot of difficulty. But that doesn’t bother me really. A thing that Fiona Floyd shared with me several years ago has influenced my feelings on this. As Fiona said, “I’m not a girl, I’m a transvestite. If someone points a finger at me and says ‘Hey that’s not a real girl … it’s a tranny’ then it’s not a problem really … that’s what I am.” I feel the same way.

I think the centre of Windsor is maybe this way because people don’t have problems with strangers and off-beat people. The town relies heavily on tourism and really can’t afford to get overly upset about issues of gender or race or a whole range of other things.

One day maybe residential areas that don’t rely on tourism will get to see people as being people.

Monday, 16 June 2008

A pictorial year in the life of ...

OK, at last, here are some links to some pictures.

I know ... I went a bit crazy and ended up posting way more than I was expecting to.

Part of it is to do with posterity. I thought that maybe one day it will be interesting for me to chart the life and times of Andrea in pictures. To see how the wrinkles develop ... how long I keep wearing skirts that are way too short and who knows what else.

So here goes.

The pictures you reach when you click
were, in a sense, taken on the day that Andrea was born. They were all taken by Fiona Floyd in Portsmouth at the affectionately named Trannie Towers. As I've written earlier in this blog, May 6th 2007 was a really special day. It marked the beginning of a process of self discovery and self acceptance that has made a big difference to me. I'm still at the beginning of the journey and am meeting many, many lovely people along the route.

Fiona has been very influential in the way that I view the whole transvestite thing as it relates to me. For that I will always be grateful to her. Having moved on from Trannie Towers Fiona isn't doing the makeover, dressing and photo service that she used to. But hopefully she will get back into it again in the not so distant future.

I still remember a lot about that day very clearly. The amazement of how seemingly complex makeup was. The surprise at the idea of earrings and a necklace. And that first glimpse in the mirror. I was totally taken by surprise at the emotion that was invoked by this. The surprising sadness that I felt when the makeup came off. The release in meeting other guys that weren't ashamed of the fact that once in a while they like to dress up and go femme. A whole new world.

My favourite pictures in this set are definitely in the short black dress and blond hair . I keep on looking for something just like it in a shop somewhere so I can get one of my own. I posted some of these at TV Chix and someone did comment on how happy I looked. And I was ... and I am.

My wife was very brave in looking at these pictures the same day that I told her about them. I think she was kind of taken aback by the shortness of the dress ... and preferred the ones in the white top and not quite so short black skirt. Preferred is probably the wrong word here.

The photos at
were taken on May 26th 2007, again at Fiona's. These were the first pictures of me in hair and boobs of my own ... well OK ... a wig and falsies of my own. I'd spent a long long time scouring the Internet looking for something that I liked. Kind of predictably I like the short denim skirt and black top best. I think you can tell that in the last few pictures I was fairly precariously balanced on a cupboard. I did manage to not quite fall off. I love the shoes. I'm not sure what it is about the flash of stocking tops ... it must be the heat of the spotlights.

The day was special because it was the first time Andrea ventured outside the walls of Trannie Towers. We spent a few hours round at a local pub. I spent quite a lot of the evening metaphorically pinching myself to check that I wasn't dreaming it all. I wore the denim skirt and black top.

Not long afterwards, the photos
were again at Trannie Towers on June 9th 2007. I like the first few best. There's a St Trinians theme evening due at the Surrey Swans at the end of June and that kind of look would be fine for it. I know ... I am showing far too much underwear in the pictures later in the set. It's kind of strange how the photographic moment takes over leaving me surprisingly unselfconscious. And normally I am an extremely self conscious kind of a guy.

My wife still struggles a little with the way I behave. She says I am like a teenager. Well ... that I act like one at any rate. I know that I don't look like one! A lot of the TVs that I know are the same.

The last few pictures are fun ... well OK ... funny. But O like them.

That evening we went to a pub in Southampton (the London Hotel, I think). I wore the outfit from the last few pictures. This was the first time I got to talk with non-TV's whilst en-femme, so to speak.

And finally ... the pictures
... were taken by Nik at trans-femme on June 8th 2008. Tracey did the makeup. A lot of the pictures are just slight variations of each other. I guess that I like the subtle differences. I like the ones with the black hair best. This surprised me a lot! You also get to see the little message on the panties included in the Anne Summers school uniform set. I didn't get spanked, by the way.

So ... that's it for now.

Let me now what you think.