More than music

A little while ago I mentioned the music of Emily Maguire.

After listening to Emily's music quite a lot and watching her play at The Slaughtered Lamb in London :

we booked tickets to a gig at the Sakya Buddhist Centre in Bristol on Saturday December 8 2018.

The day didn't go completely as planned.

The Andrea plan ran something like this:

• 14:50 to 16:20 - do the makeup
• 16:20 to 18:00 - drive to Bristol and find somewhere to eat
• 18:00 to 19:30 - eat somewhere in Bristol - Gloucester Road maybe?
• 19:30 to 19:45 - get to the venue
• 19:45 to 20:00 - mingle and wait around at the venue
• 20:00 to ??:?? (whenever things wind up) - enjoy the poetry and music
• ??:?? to ??:?? + 94 minutes - drive home

At 15:00 all is well. The makeup doesn't really take 90 minutes to apply. There is certainly more to life than makeup.

Denim skirt + blouse + cardigan? Or dress and shawl?

I consult my fashion adviser (aka Sally). The dress wins - though the shawl isn't so popular an item.

Shaving takes way longer than on a non-Andrea day.

And then there's all the other stuff.

Cleansing lotion with cotton wool.

Moisturiser with fingers.

Primer with fingers.

Pause. Panties. Tights. Bra. Falsies.

Red door.

Lipstick with a concealer brush around my mouth. It acts like a concealer to hide the inevitable pre-bristly grey shadow that asserts itself as time passes.

Foundation with a foundation brush.

Powder. On with a powder puff. Off with a brush.

Shadow with a shadow brush. More shadow with a shadow brush.

Liner under the eyes with a stick. Ober the eyes with a pen.

Mascara with the spiky thing that mascara comes provided with.

Blush with a blush brush.

Lipstick with an applicator.

Dress.

Shawl.

Necklace.

Hair.

Earrings.

Watch.

Rings.

Bracelet.

Lip gloss.

Flat shoes - for driving.

Andrea pops her house keys into the handbag. "I've got the keys" she calls out as Sally puts her coat on.

Andrea checks that the tickets are there.

Her purse - complete with money, credit cards, drivers licence.

Bits and pieces of makeup.

Phone.

The kind of things that belong in a handbag.

Pitter patter raindrops lead her to collect an umbrella.

And pick up her coat.

Some not so flat shoes, which have nothing much to do with the weather but look nicer than the flat ones.

She opens the rear door of the car and unloads her arms onto the seat.

Sally closes the house door. Climbs into the passenger seat.

The new TomTom is pre-programmed. She speaks with the computer-voice of Serena.

Off they go.

Innocently unaware that the tits-up experience is only minutes away.

Serena doesn't seem to be traffic-aware. Andrea decides it's time for a pep-talk.

It goes something like this - with contributions from Andrea, Serena and Sally.

"Hello Tom-Tom."

Silence.

Louder than before: "Hello Tom-Tom"

"Hello. I'm listening."

Beep.

"Activate phone."

"No phone is connected."

A pause.

"Hello Tom-Tom."

"Hello. I'm listening."

Beep.

"Activate phone."

"No phone is connected."

A longer pause.

"Please can you check my phone. In my handbag on the back seat."

"I can't find it".

"It should be there."

"I can't find it."

Andrea pulls over and parks.

"Let me see".

Beside the shoes? Beside the umbrella? Under the coat? On the floor? Under the seats?

No. No. No. No. No.

"Oh. Maybe it dropped onto the driveway?"

Inside a thought bubble: "I hope".

Five minutes driving.

Serena suggests that a U-turn would be a good idea.

The driveway is bare.

Andrea begins to wonder.

"When I picked up my coat, the umbrella and my shoes - what happened top the handbag."

Well - maybe it didn't get as far as the car.

Sally is amazingly at peace.

He handbag is complete with phone.

Unfortunately it has no keys.

Andrea was pretty clear that she had them.

In her handbag.

Unfortunately.

Andrea doesn't have her handbag.

Time for a chat with Google.

"I'm locked out of my house."

"Locksmiths - 24 hour callout."

17:00 the locksmiths are called.

"We can have someone with you in 60 to 90 minutes."

Tesco sandwiches rather than a Gloucester Road restaurant.

17:30 the pone rings.

"We should be with you in an hour."

BP provides some diesel.

17:57

"We'll be about 30 minutes."

Serena is connected.

"Oh ...".

The alarm is false. Bluetooth is capable of reaching through the front door and shaking hands with Andrea's phone.

"Hello TomTom".

"Hello. I'm listening.

Beep.

"Activate phone."

"Phone activated."

Beep.

"Mmm."

Sally phones Andrea.

Serena rings.

Serena is turned off.

Sally phones Andrea.

The sound comes from the hall table.

Sally and Andrea are amazed that they didn't try this a long time ago.

But it would have made no difference.

18:28 the cavalry arrive.

Andrea explains the position.

The locksmith bats no eyelids and sets to work.

18:35 the door is open. Handbag and it's goodies are retrieved. The papers are signed.

Andrea has keys.

Sally has keys.

18:45 journey recommences.

"Only Andrea would have done that."

"What?"

"Left home without a key."

Andrea ponders on this. Maybe its a shortage of pockets and an excess of handbags?

Serena is exceptionally helpful.

It rains. And rains. And rains some more.

20:08 arrival.

20:12 The room is pretty full, Sally apologises for being late.

"Emily hasn't come down yes."

At that moment, Emily comes down the stairs and heads for the microphone where Christian, complete with double bass, awaits her.

Andrea and Sally sit on cushions on the floor and enjoy the music and the poetry.

It's especially nice to hear some of the history behind how the book of poetry came into existence and how some of the songs came to be written.

If I'm remembering this correctly, Emily said that before writing The Borderline she'd gone through a long period where she hadn't been able to write anything. It was suggested she try waking  very early sometime, spend some time meditating and then see what happened. And this, The Borderline was born. At the moment it's a song that is very special to me.

The music is more than just music. The poetry is more than just words.

After the music is all over Andrea says thank you to Emily. Buys a book complete with autograph. A small glass of red wine. A chat. A thank you to Christian.

And the journey home ... with a renewed commitment to making sure that there is always a key available somewhere for the next time.

Documentaries, Café Rouge and more documentaries

Things have been busy over the past few weeks.

On Sunday November 25th there was a Surrey Swans meeting where we were visited by Nate, Harri, Alex,Terrell, Evie and Elisha from the University for Creative Arts who were putting together a documentary as part of a project for the course that they are studying.

On Monday December 3rd I spent a lovely evening with Tina, Susie and Chloe at Café Rouge in Windsor. It’s always lovely to meet up. And here we are … Chloe, Andrea, Susie and Tina:

Part way through the evening we talked about identity and who we are. Susie shared a simple and yet profound truth. She said that really, she is just herself. She’s not a label. And that is true. It really is.

On Wednesday December 5th I visited UCA in Farnham as a follow up to the documentary. It involved some filming and chatting with people involved with the Trans society there. I found that to be really helpful for me. It was really special to share some thoughts and feelings with younger Trans people. It reminded me a bit of Emily Maguires Song, The Borderline in that we each knew that the borderlines are things that people invent and that really each of us is just a person. The fact that we are trans is an incidental thing. Mainly, we are just people.

Emily Maguire and Borderlines

Earlier this year whilst driving home from work I was listening to a programme on Radio 4 presented by Cherylee Houston that included an interview with Emily Maguire. You can listen to it here:

I found the interview itself really interesting and was captivated by Emily's music.

Sally and I went along to a concert of Emily's at the Slaughtered Lamb, a pub in London. It was great.

Recently I've been challenged by my own attitude towards the concepts of LGBT (maybe with a Q and an I) and TRANS (maybe with a *) and myself ... as illustrated a bit by this post that I made.

Then back in September I mentioned a questionnaire that was part of a study that is “interested in what might encourage LGBTQIA people to help groups under the umbrella that they are not necessarily a part of.”

A short while after writing that I first listened to an (old) song by Emily Maguire. The title is The Borderline. It's here:

And the words are here.

The Borderline
[E.Maguire]

Where is the borderline
The boundary between your tribe and mine
Are we the rain, the river, the cloud and the sea
If we are like water then which drop is me

And what is time – the fast blink of an eye
A circle so vast that we think it’s a line
And what is space – the air, the silence we breathe
A place of our own and the ghosts we don’t see Is it the boundary, the borderline
Between you and I, your mind and mine

Is fire the spark, the fuel, the air or the heat
The smoke in your eyes or the ash at your feet
Are trees the root, the branch, the wood or the leaves
The forest we burn or the broom that we keep
Beneath the stairs, the stars, the space in a jar The air outside is that where you are
Is that the borderline, the boundary
Between you and I, between your tribe and mine

But isn’t fear the dark shadow of hope
The things that we want and the things that we don’t
And so we cling and close the eyes that look in,
The soul we don’t see under the skin
Cos that’s a boundary, the borderline
Between you and I, between your tribe and mine

But we both were born and both will die
And in between will doubt and dream
Of a better life than life before
A meaning or a reason for
This feeling of being different, defined
When we are only dreaming of boundaries and borderlines
I hope we wake up

Cos what is love – a word, the feeling of you
Something we dream or the things that we do
And who am I – these thoughts, this feeling, my views
A fragile form or a dreamer like you
Are we so different, defined
Where is the borderline?

When we are like water, like trees
We have a name, an illusion of identity
Of boundaries, of borderlines
But my dreams are yours and your fears are mine
I hope we wake up from this dream of being different, defined
When we are only space and time

I love the music and the lyrics. The emphasis on things we have in common. The way that it quietly discredits the kind of tribalism that can lead to conflict.

It challenges me.

In December Sally and I are aiming to be in Bristol for one of the events of Emily's "Meditation Mind" Poetry & Song tour which we're looking forwards to a lot. I'm especially looking forwards to hearing The Borderline live.