On being a Human Book

Today was the day of the Human Library that I mentioned here.

Sally, my wife, was a human book with the title My Genderfluid Marriage. I was a human book with the title My Genderfluid Life.

The day began quite early. My makeup regime has changed over the past few months. I now use exfoliator and primer and apply foundation with a brush rather than fingers. It takes a bit longer but, for me, it works better.

We set off for Windsor at about 10:20. The car park at Victoria Street presented its usual challenged. The Windsor residents Advantage Card was ignored completely by the machine on level 1. A trip to the ground floor resulted in three failures to validate the card before success.

At the church people welcomed us both. Warmly and genuinely. Many are close friends of Sally and some are friends of us both.

We have a safe phrase in case any readers where to become bothersome. But the readers were all fine.

The librarians introduced themselves.

There was a format, but it wasn’t rigid.

As readers arrived they would ask the librarians if they could borrow a book.

The book and the reader then spend about 10 minutes together. The book tells itself to the reader and the readers ask questions. The book then makes itself available to the next reader.

Quite a few of my readers were people that attend Windsor Baptist church. Several of them I know as Andy, but haven’t met as Andrea. Some that I have met as Andrea as well. Two readers were Polish who were studying in England.

There is a sense of freedom in being able to share a personal story with people. It’s a thing of beauty. Very special.

I presented my story as an overview of how I got be be where I am.

It a story of a journey from a place characterised by secrets, fear, guilt and shame to a place of acceptance (both self acceptance and acceptance by others) and openness. A journey of healing.

Pretty much all that I said is written somewhere or other in this blog.

I don’t know how much of a difference the day meant to the readers of the books. You’d have to ask them to find out.

But I do know the difference it has made to me. The smiles. The conversation. The looks of understanding in people’s eyes. The hugs.

And most of all acceptance. Not begrudgingly. Just simple, affirming acceptance. The knowledge that I don’t need to be afraid or ashamed of being the person that I am.

It’s been a few years now since I learned that lesson. But it’s always good to have it reconfirmed.

Salons, Cosmetics and Phobias

Wednesday 21st was a really nice day for me.

Alice, a friend at Surrey Swans, had mentioned Julia Lampard’s hair salon in Guildford to me a while back. Julia had been really helpful to Alice and she emailed me to suggest that we meet up some time to talk about the kind of things that the salon does that might be of use to people that come along to Surrey Swans. So I visited Guildford on Wednesday and met Julia and Mariam at the salon. It was lovely to meet them both, to talk things over and to take a look at the salon. If there’s sufficient interest then Julia is thinking of organising an evening were people from Surrey Swans can come along to the salon for a chat and refreshments and an opportunity to see what’s available. And she and Mariam made it clear that trans people are welcome at the salon.

Amanda, another friend from Surrey Swans, had also mentioned a while back that people working within the cosmetics departments at House of Fraser were keen to be of service to Trans people. So I took the opportunity to call in and say hello. Again, it was really good. They are happy to offer makeup advice and lessons and makeovers without charge. I feel that’s a really positive thing for them to do to help transgender people.

I meet quite a few people who are at the beginning of their own journey of self-acceptance in terms of the gender that they are. And to be able to mention to them places such as Julia Lampard’s and House of Fraser where they can visit in the knowledge that they will be accepted, supported and affirmed is great … it’s a big deal.

On a different note, last year I made some posts about comments and discussions I’d had with people at the Shoebat web site. There’s some background on that here. Over the past several months I’ve made comments on a selection of articles there and been involved in several discussions.

Overall, my feelings about articles on the web site that mention LGBT issues are that the authors suffer from an intense and complex set of phobias that they justify from the way that they interpret what the Bible says. The sad thing is that these articles actually misrepresent LGBT people and, I believe, also misrepresent what the Bible says.

I’ve had some very negative feedback from some people that leave comments on the web site. In the most extreme of these, someone said to me:

Wow you are nothing but a sodomite TRANNY unnatural freak promoter... People like you are why there should be another inquisition... People like you should be executed... You are doing nothing but twisting God's word and I hope some shoots you in the face to stop your evil soon

That didn’t make me feel so good. The person did edit the comment and tone it down a little, and then said:

Ya if you deliberately are twisting God's word then I still do hope someone takes you out... Preferably a sodomite as the irony would be delicious... Keep the email dumbass it's not a threat at all its a simple hope .

And that’s from someone that thinks they are a follower of Jesus.

And yet, someone else said:

You seem to be a caring and decent person. I totally respect that. There is too much hatred in the world today.

So it isn’t all bleak.

Human Library–Windsor 24 March 2018

On Saturday 24th March there is a Human Library in Windsor. The details run something like the following.

I’m participating as one of the human books.

Come along if you can.