Saturday, 12 December 2009

Dinner, hobbies and personalities

Last Tuesday was the Christmas TV (Transvestite) Dinner at Billie and Kathie’s.

Excellent food and company.

We talked a little about where the transvestite thing fits into our lives.

In a way this seems to be connected to another question that two people have asked me about recently … about the meanings of the terms “cross dresser”, “transvestite” and “transsexual”.

The first time I ever wore makeup, Fiona Floyd shared with me her understanding of this, and I think it makes sense. The definitions are from a male kind of perspective and highly over simplified.

  • Cross dresser – a guy that sometimes wears ladies clothing.
  • Transvestite – also wears makeup and wig.
  • Transsexual – someone that feels that they are a girl that has been born in a mans body.

The truth is, I know, much more complex.

Personally speaking, for much of my life I was an occasional cross dresser.

For the past few years I have been a transvestite – though really, I think, this has always been a part of who I am and that it’s only been in the past few years that I’ve felt the freedom to be able to

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express it.

I don’t believe that I am transsexual.

Of course, everyone’s experiences are different and I can only speak with any authority about myself.

In many ways the cross dressing seemed to be associated with eroticism and masturbation.

The transvestism is different. There are elements of eroticism associated with it, I know. But much, much more of it is about self expression. It’s who I am.

I remember the first makeover … and the sensation of self discovery that was associated with it.

At the TV dinner we talked a bit about that.

Sometimes, I think, it’s useful to look at the transvestite things as a kind of “hobby”.

In a way I can see that from some perspectives, a transvestite could be viewed as a guy that likes to play at being a girl once in a while.

But really, it’s more than that – for me at least. And for other transvestites that I know – Tina, Julia, Laura, Billie and Fiona to name just a few.

Andrea isn’t just a hobby to me. I am Andrea.

The freedom to express the femininity that is a part of me matters a great deal. I also accept the masculinity that is a part of me. Both are more than hobbies. Both are aspects of who I am.


Pretty Sissy Dani said...

I generally use "transvestite" and "cross-dresser" interchangeably, but more often I use CD to describe myself, in part because it's easier to understand and doesn't lead to confusion with "transexual" or "transgender."

Actually, as those who read my blog would know, I'm more likely to describe myself as a "male lesbian"...I like to dress and act like a woman, but all my sexual desires are for real women.

Andrea said...

Several people here in the UK have mentioned to me that the way these words are used does seem to be different in the USA than they are here in the UK - and I'm sure different people in the UK use the words in different ways.

And even then, words can easily become labels ... and labels are misleading things.

I guess there are many differences in the way that words are used - here a person that is looking for a rubber is likely to have had an accident with a pencil - in North America they maybe want to avoid a pregnancy.