Wednesday, 9 August 2017

Pink Punters, Wolves and Friends

Last Saturday (August 5th) a few of us spent an evening (and a morning) at Pink Punters.

Related image

Travelling light I pack only 1 pair of shoes, 2 dresses, 1 skirt and 1 shirt. That’s in addition to the dress and shoes that I am already wearing. Together with the makeup and all the other stuff that needs to be taken.

The suitcase is by no means small. But quite a bit smaller than I’ve used in the past. And everything fits inside without having to sit on the top to zip it all up.

Laura arrives in Windsor a little after 5:00 pm and says hello to Sally. Soon we’re on the road  off with TomTom instructed to avoid motorways. The traffic is kind and we’re at the Campanile Hotel soon after 6:30 pm.

A text to Paula and to Susie to say that we’re in room 119 and we’ll be at the bar by about 7:00 pm.

The little card says there is a £100 fine for doing anything that impedes the effectiveness of safety equipment. We check the smoke alarm for condoms.

Laura tries a dress on. Andrea unpacks. Laura tries a skirt on. Andrea unpacks some more. Laura tries a dress on. 7:00 pm seems wildly optimistic.

7:10 pm at the bar. Hello Chloe and hello Sonia.

There is no Shiraz so it’s house red for Laura. And no Sauvignon Blanc so it’s house white for Andrea.

Susie and Paula arrive. Emma arrives.

We sip and chat.

Chloe has a cool new phone cover courtesy of Sonia. It has a picture of a howling wolf … maybe a bit like this:

Image result for howling wolf phone cover

Andrea learns that one way of receiving a new phone cover is to leave the current one on the roof of your car before setting off on a journey. Of course, the new cover is only any use if the phone isn’t inside it’s current cover when it gets left on the car roof. Or at least at the moment that you drive off.

Susie and I reminisce over Sparkle, giggling over the “please can I have a glass of Sauvignon Blanc” experience.

Talking with Chloe, Sonia, Paula and Susie, thinking about the love that people show, and also the apparent hatred.

19:33 … Andrea sends a text to Lucy:

Hi Lucy, we’re sipping things in the hotel bar, Andrea

Conversation continues.

“Is Lucy coming?”

Andrea nods. I sent her a text.

Andrea checks the address book on her phone. Lucy Surrey Swans.

Does Andrea know an other Lucy at Surrey Swans? Is a different Lucy sitting somewhere wondering who is sitting in which bar sipping what things?

Emma comes to the rescue. The number she has for the Lucy is the same as Andrea’s Lucy Surrey Swans. All is well. Or so we think.


Hi Andrea, are you and the others at the bar? 


Lucy has a new number … or at least Andrea has an old one.


We are yes, I texted your old number :)

Lucy arrives.

We talk of Indigo Girls in Brighton, along with Lucy Wainwright Roche.

Image result for indigo girls one lost day

on tour in the UK with Indigo Girls this summer!

And Bruce Springsteen.

Food and conversation follow.

From left to right it’s: Chloe, Emma, Paula, Sonia, Susie, Laura and Lucy.


The camera-girls arm is just about visible in the mirror at the back of the room.

It’s 21:20 and the plan is to change as need be and meet again at the bar.

Andrea suggests 21:30.

Stares of astonishment.

We compromise on a.s.a.p.

In room 119 Andrea takes off a dress and puts on a dress and a belt. Laura takes off a dress and puts on a skirt and a shirt and a belt.

a.s.a.p. for Andrea and Laura is 22:00. The girls at the bar waited very patiently.

It’s cool outside, but dry. The short walk through the car park and across Watling Street. The bus is noticeable by its absence. When it’s there it looks like this:

Image result for pink punters bus

Handbags are scrutinised. We part with £7 and ascend the steps. Drinks at the bar.

The evening passes quickly.

Dancing. Sipping. Chatting.

The pink room is still pink, my dress is black.


Another dance. Another drink.

Andrea stands at the bar, and, without a word, the girl serving the drinks places a half of Fosters right there in front of her. Magic!

There’s a cis girl with a tiara. Andrea wonders why. The girl points at a badge. Andrea says “Happy Birthday” to the princess.

The friend of the princess wears a dress and a beard. Andrea smiles thinking Eurovision kind of thoughts.

We chat a while. He prefers to not be called she. Is straight. Is not trans. But likes the dress.

“I have a very firm bum. Have a feel.” he says.

He does indeed have a firm bum.

Two other friends of the girl without a beard drop by. No beards. And bums of an unknown degree of firmness.

They dance.

Andrea chats.

Andrea dances. Alone and with the bearded and non-bearded ladies.

Where is Laura?

1:00 am and it’s time for Chloe and Sonia to head back across Watling Street.

We meet Felicia and Kirsten and chat a while. Kirsten is thinking of offering some kind of a makeover before Pink Punters service.

Laura re-appears having had a worrisome hour or so.

Before we know it, it’s 03:45 and time to wend our way back to the hotel. Punters is still busy. Watling Street is extremely busy.

At room 119 Andrea and Laura compare breast sizes. Detachable boobies are easy to compare. Laura’s puppies are considerably larger.

Makeup, dresses and skirts come off, nightwear goes on.

Alarm is set for 10:00. It’s nor far off 05:00 and time to sleep.

At 09:30 a text beats the alarm.

Shower. Shave. Makeup. A skirt and shirt for Andrea. Pack. Check-out. Drive home.

A lovely night with lovely people/

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