Wednesday, 12 May 2010

Wet Knickers, Little talc coated rubber things and Pink Punters

09:30 am and I wake. Not early … but not late either … well … it is Saturday (8th May 2010).

The “Bodygroom - Rechargeable Male Body Hair Trimmer” is all recharged and ready to go.

I’ve used it a few times now. I believe it’s not as effective as waxing … but a whole lot less painful. It’s also not so good as a BIC disposable razor either … but a lot faster and easier … and less prone to little cuts and nicks. Well … apart from the last time I used it. Ouch.

Today is mishap-less.

Tooth brushing.



Remove the clear nail polish. I pretty much always wear this these days … reduces the number of tears that I shed due to nail breakages.

Paint on the Rimmel Hot Gossip whilst half watching people cooking and eating on television. Two coats takes about 15 minutes. Followed by a coat of clear polish. Followed by a wait.

A little while messing on the computer. Another coffee.

The SatNav is with Katie … so it’s Google maps to get directions to the hotel.

Ring … ring.


“Hi. Andrea?


“It’s Billie. I just printed out the room reservation … how many rooms did you book?”

“Two doubles. It comes out as 2 bookings for 1 room … not 1 booking for two rooms. I mean … two bookings … each for a different room.”

“Ah … that’s ok then. See you later.”

14:00 and I search out a suitcase and start looking through clothes.

Of course I have given this some thought already.

Decisions … decisions.

I really do need a bigger wardrobe. Or less clothes. It depends on who you ask. 

I remove a stack of things so that there’s enough room to slide the clothes along the rail and see what there is.

It’s just one evening. I know.

So … well … maybe … but then again … maybe.

In the end … the suitcase contains … a short black dress with sequins at the top … a not so short velvety black dress … a short black skirt with little pleats … a short black denim skirt … a not so short purple dress … a white jacket … a shiny black shirt … a not at all shiny black blouse … a black t-shirt … 3 pairs of black tights … 3 pairs of tan tights … two pairs of shoes.

And then there’s the rest: 4 boobs … a black bra … a white bra … a strapless bra (I know … more bras than boobs and more than enough boobs for one persons chest) … 3 pairs of black knickers … a black nightie.

And there is still: foundation … face powder … powder pad … brush … 2 shades of eye shadow … liquid eye liner … eye liner pencil … mascara … more mascara just in case the first one is empty … eye brush … blush … blush brush … red lipstick which is more like lip paint … pink lipstick … gloss.

And more: watch … rings … necklaces … earrings. Makeup remover. Eye makeup remover. Makeup removal tissues. Nail polish. Cotton wool balls. Nail polish remover.

Toothbrush. Razor. Toothpaste.

Hair. The hair is really important!


Handbag. Camera. Purse.

It’s a fairly big suitcase.

15:15 I load the car and head for the petrol station and cash dispenser.

Ring … ring.


“Hello. Andrea?”


“Hi it’s Nikki. Where are you?

“Just about to set off … be there in an hour or so.”

“Ok. We’re in room 105 … Billie and Laura have room 107.”

The low pitched conversations that we girls have still make me smile.

Due to a fairly complex set of circumstances I am driving Sarah’s car rather than my own. The radio was stolen a while back … so I’m making use of an MP3 player and earphones. Mostly Indigo Girls and Chris While & Julie Matthews.

Did you know … Indigo Girls are one of Chris While & Julie Matthews favourite things? Well … now you do.

Windsor and Eaton Relief Road. M4. M25. M1. A505. A5. Watling Street. Penn Road. Campanile Hotel. The journey is straightforward enough.

Check in at reception. It seems everyone has arrived.

Nikki is out shopping.

Shave. I know I did it once already.

Shower. And that too.

Damn. I forgot to bring moisturiser!

Knickers and tights.

Stockings are nicer … but fastening suspender belts can get me hot and bothered. And holdups … well … sometimes they don’t. And the black dress is a little on the short side.

Strapless bra. Boobs. Just one pair.

Foundation. Fingers to smooth it on.

Ring … ring.

“Hi Nikki.”

“Hi Andrea. Where are you?”

“In the room.”

“I’m shopping. See you in a bit.”

Pat on the translucent powder. Brush off the excess.

Pale blue eye shadow at the tops of my eyelids.

Grey shadow at the bottom of my eyelids and a little under the eyes.

Liquid liner on the top eyelids. Liner pencil on the bottom.

Brush it a bit to blend it.

Ring … ring.


“Andrea? It’s Laura. Where are you?”

“I think I’m next door … well if you’re in room 107 then I’m next door.”

“What are you doing?”
“Makeup … how about you?”

“Same … see you in a bit then.”

Blush and lips.


I decide on the purple dress.

Nikki arrives and decides to pop next door to see how things are going.

Black shoes … the ones with the shorter heels … only about 3.5 inches.

Nikki gets back.

“They’re watching Doctor Who.”

Nikki showers and starts touching up the makeup.

We cat about all kinds of things … including nails and how to strengthen them.

Zinc … we have heard … is good for nails.

Nikki says it’s also good as an aphrodisiac.  And it seems she is not alone.


Knock … knock.

Laura and Billie arrive and we head for the hotel bar whist Nikki finishes the touching up. Of makeup.

A little while later we are eating. Here’s Billie and Nikki:


And here is Andrea and Laura:


Laura whispers.

“I wet my knickers watching Doctor Who.”

I remember hiding behind the couch from the Daleks when I was a kid.

But knicker wetting is a totally different ball game.

My choice of words is sometimes unfortunate.

Actually the truth is not so frightening.

During the Doctor Who watching session Laura had been laying on the bed clad somewhat scantily it seems.

The bottle of water was somewhat squishier than expected and in taking the top of it went … well … splish and splash.

And hey presto … Doctor Who becomes a knicker wetting experience.

Time to get changed.

Nikki requests a photo stop en-route to the bedrooms.

A little posing at the bottom of the steps.

A guy at the door asks if we’d like a picture with everyone in it.

We nod.

“See you later” he says … “I’ll be wearing a stripy top.”

Here’s one of the pictures … Billie, Laura, Andrea and Nikki:


Nikki took this one of me:

P1000130_720x960 - Copy

And I took this of Nikki:

P1000132_720x960 - Copy

And here’s Laura (spot the belly button):

P1000133_720x960 - Copy

Laura took these:



Back in the room.

Purple dress off.

Short black dress on.

Powder the nose.

Nikki gets out a talc coated little rubber thing.

Dress I mean.

She says that tonight we’ll fasten the belt before applying the stuff that makes it all shiny.

The dress goes on.

Then the belt. It’s a lot easier than the last time we tried this …. which was a four girl effort … though Emma was actually only videoing the event.

The shiny making stuff was a spray last time. This time its in a bottle.


In moments all is shiny.

P1000137_720x960 - Copy


9:30 pm and we head down the hotel corridor.

The music from the floor above is loud enough for Billie to suggest that we go see what’s going on.

Upstairs it’s party time in preparation for heading over the road to Pink Punters. Laura beckons us on:

P1000138_1280x960 - Copy

This is the tricky part. Names.

“I’m … and this is Mary … and this is …”

… signifies my not so good memory.


We’re invited to share in a drink and stay and talk a while.

Laura and … compare stocking tops. Again … is my not so good memory.

Can you tell which legs belong to Laura?


Katie arrives in a stripy top … looking not even vaguely like the guy that took the photos just a little while ago.


Eventually we head across the road.




P1000144_1280x960 - Copy

It’s a normal kind of evening.

A few drinks.

Some dancing.



Lucy arrives … one of the girls from the party upstairs at the hotel.

She makes encouraging noises … we really ought to be downstairs dancing.

Her shoe size is the same as Billie’s … and Billie can’t help but try them on. Here you can see one shoe on Billie and one on Lucy … which leg belongs to which person?


Lucy and I share unhappy experiences with holdup stockings. There are times when they just don’t hold up.

A few more people from the party pass by and stop and chat a while.


Here’s Katie:


Matthew and Lucy:



A fairy and a schoolgirl:


An Andrea and a schoolgirl:


I have a dress just like that one, courtesy of Ann Summers … this is me wearing it at a Trans-Femme photo session in June 2008:

Andrea (213)_720x960

Andrea and a fairy:



These were taken by the Pink Punters photographer:



The originals of these two are at here and here. There are a whole lot more Pink Punters photos of the night here.

“What time does it get light?”

Well … at 05:10 am, when we left, it was light.

A short trek across the road … a wave to the receptionist at the hotel.

Makeup removal and eventually some sleep … but not a lot.

A nice, nice evening.

No comments: