The Listening Project Interview

As I mentioned here, my daughter Katie interviewed me at the BBC Radio Berkshire studios as part of The Listening Project.
A few days ago I received a CD from Graham McKechnie, who recorded the interview and also a couple of pictures that he took just after the interview was finished.
 

The interview itself is quite long. The questions range from things from what life was like during my childhood through to what it means to me to be a tranny and how Katie and her friends feel about the idea of a dad that also likes to be a girl. If you have the time then you can listen to the whole thing then here it is:

The abbreviated version that was broadcast by BBC Radio Berkshire is here:

 

Tell people what you think about same sex marriage

I received another letter from Care over the issue of same sex marriages. I wrote about a similar letter here.

I’ve read the words. And there was a time when I would have agreed with them. But not any more. I guess that I’ve either seen the light or been blinded by it.

Here’s the text of the letter:

May 2012
A Call to Action

The Government Equalities Office has launched a consultation on changing the law to permit same-sex couples to marry. CARE is part of the Coalition for Marriage (C4M) and is encouraging Christians to express their views to MPs. If you share our concern about government plans to redefine marriage, the voluntary union of one man and one woman for life to the exclusion of all others, we need your urgent help which can be given in the following ways:
• Please respond to the consultation. Submissions are invited from individuals and organisations by 14 June. In addition, your church leadership can submit views on behalf of your church. The best way to do this is to complete the online form, and you will find advice on how to do this overleaf.
• Please contact your MP Local MPs do pay attention to the views of their constituents — particularly if they have a slim majority! Handwritten letters are taken more seriously than emails, but both are valuable. It is also very effective to meet face to face at the MP’s surgery. You might like to take someone with you and explain why you are opposed to the redefinition of marriage.
• Please sign the Coalition for Marriage petition if you have not already done so. It currently stands at nearly 500,000 signatures but we are hoping for a million or more! Do encourage others to sign, either online at www.c4m.org.uk or by using a printed copy available from CARE.
• Please pray. Our prayer resource is available at www.care.org.uk/marriage
If nothing is done now, we are concerned that churches may be required to conduct same-sex marriages in the future. On the same day that Home Secretary Theresa May gave a reassurance that this will not happen, Equalities Minister Lynn Featherstone said she believed full gay marriage in churches may come back another day’. This is a very serious matter and now is the time to make your views known!
Thank you so much for your help in this.

Yours sincerely

Nola Leach
Chief Executive and Head of Public Affairs

Redefining Marriage
• CARE is very concerned about the Government’s intention to redefine marriage to include same-sex couples. This would change something that has been at the heart of our society for centuries.
• Marriage has always been the natural context in which to raise children, as fathers and mothers give complementary role models to children. Marriage safeguards them and also supports the wider family across the generations.
• Marriage was recognised in law in 1866 as ‘the voluntary union of one man and one woman for life, to the exclusion of all others’. The issue is not about equality for same-sex relationships; that has already been achieved by civil partnerships.
• Research confirms that compared with every other kind of relationship, marriage is more stable and beneficial for couples, families and the whole of society. Same-sex marriage is an unproven and experimental social model.
• Marriage is the only legal union which can naturally lead to the birth of children. Although same-sex couples can become parents, this leads to confusion about biological, social and family identity.
• Redefining marriage was neither in the Coalition Agreement nor in either the Conservative or Liberal Democrat manifestos. Although they have no public mandate, the Government is adamant that it is a question of when and how, not if. It would be very costly and involve extensive amendments to hundreds of legal documents.
• There would be knock-on effects for educators, religious groups and parents who may be stigmatised for disagreeing with the proposals. It could lead to faith-based discrimination if same-sex couples were refused the right to ‘marry’ in church.
• As we have seen elsewhere, same-sex marriage could be followed by other relationship variations, such as polygamy.
How to get involved:
RESPOND to the Government’s Equal Civil Marriage consultation. The best way to do this is via the online form at: www.homeoffice.gov.uk/publications/about-us/consultations/equal-civil-marriage  
Alternatively, you can email your response to the questions to: equalcivilmarriage@geo.gsi.gov.uk or send a letter to: Government Equalities Office, 3rd Floor Fry, 2 Marsham Street, London, SW1 P 4DF.
If you are short of time, you need only answer Question 1 as well as Questions 2 and 16 which give the opportunity to state your opinions. Please respond before 14 June!
NB. Email public.affairs@care.org.uk for an expanded briefing with further in formation and statistics to help you submit an in formed response. There is also a briefing paper at www.c4m.org.uk
CONTACT your MP, either in writing or by visiting them at their constituency surgery. You will find practical advice on how to do so at www.writetothem.com
SIGN the Coalition for Marriage (C4M) petition at www.c4m.org.uk
PRAY using CARE’s new resource at www.care.org.uk/marriage
CARE
53 Romney Street Tel. 020 7233 0455 Executive Chairman: Rev Lyndon Bowring
London Fax. 020 7233 0983 Chief Executive: Nola Leach
CARE is a registered charity: Charity No.1066963;
SW1 P 3RF mail@care.org.uk Scottish Charity No. SC03891 1, and a company
www.care.org.uk limited by Guarantee No. 3481417

I’ve completed the online form at www.homeoffice.gov.uk/publications/about-us/consultations/equal-civil-marriage and have made it clear that I am in favour changes that would allow same sex marriages and have already signed the petition at http://www.c4em.org.uk/

The Home Office web page makes the following points:

The key proposals of the consultation are:

• to enable same-sex couples to have a civil marriage i.e. only civil ceremonies in a register office or approved premises (like a hotel)
• to make no changes to religious marriages. No religious organisation will be forced to conduct same-sex religious marriages as a result of these proposals
• to retain civil partnerships for same-sex couples and allow couples already in a civil partnership to convert this into a marriage
• civil partnership registrations on religious premises will continue as is currently possible i.e. on a voluntary basis for faith groups and with no religious content
• individuals will, for the first time, be able legally to change their gender without having to end their marriage

Current legislation allows same-sex couples to enter into a civil partnership, but not civil marriage.

The full details of the consultation are included in the pdf version of the consultation document, which is available to download below

The consultation document (Equal civil marriage consultation (PDF file - 196kb) explicitly states the following:

We have listened to those religious organisations that raised concerns about the redefinition of religious marriage. We are aware that some religious organisations that solemnize marriages through a religious ceremony believe that marriage can only be between a man and a woman. That is why this consultation is limited to consideration of civil marriage and makes no proposals to change the way that religious marriages are solemnized. It will not be legally possible under these proposals for religious organisations to solemnize religious marriages for same-sex couples. There will therefore be no obligation or requirement for religious organisations or ministers of religion to do this. It will also not be possible for a same-sex couple to have a civil marriage ceremony on religious premises. Marriages of any sort on religious premises would still only be legally possible between a man and a woman.

…

The Government is committed to building a fairer society and ensuring fair treatment and equal opportunities for all, including people of all religions. As we are only seeking to lift the ban on same-sex couples getting married through a civil ceremony, we would ensure that any subsequent legislation on equal civil marriage is clear that marriages conducted according to religious rites and on religious premises could not be between a same-sex couple. This would mean that no religious organisation, premises, or leader would face a successful legal challenge for failing to perform a marriage for a same-sex couple, whether or not the religious organisation, premises or leader involved performs marriages for opposite-sex couples. Any changes to the legislation as a result of this consultation will not, legally, enable same-sex couples to have a marriage through a religious ceremony and on religious premises.

…

We are also aware that the doctrines of many faiths hold the view that marriage can only be between a man and a woman, and this belief is contained within the teachings of their faith. We are clear that no one should face successful legal action for hate speech or discrimination if they preach their belief that marriage should only be between a man and a woman.

There are many things that I find myself in disagreement with when it comes to Government policy and proposals, but this is one that I think that they have right. And what’s worse, I believe that the letter from Care is misleading and that it misrepresents what the Government is intending. If people at Care have read the consultation document, then they seem to either be telling deliberate lies about what the Government intend to do, or are accusing the Government of telling lies.

If you have the time then please tell your Member of Parliament what you think about it. Fill out the online form. Sign the petition. But I hope that you’ll be encouraging the Government to go through with the changes rather than taking the stance suggested by Care.

The Listening Project

Back in March I was contacted by Claire at BBC Radio Berkshire to ask if I was interested in taking part in The Listening Project. She knew of the interview that I’d done with Bill Buckley back in March.

The Listening Project is about “capturing the nation in conversation to build a unique picture of our lives today and preserve it for future generations”. There’s more info on it here. As Claire summarised it:

In a nutshell, we get two people who are close to each other (friends, family, loved ones) into a studio and record a conversation/interview of about 40 minutes in length. One person acts more as the interviewer but it’s more natural and casual than a formal interview. We, as journalists, don’t get too involved, we can help guide the conversation but we let you set the agenda.

This audio will then be archived and put in the British Library for people to use for research in the future. It’s an opportunity to record, share, and preserve the stories of our lives.

The audio is also cut into a shorter piece and played on the BBC Radio Berkshire and on Radio 4 as part of this exciting new project starting at the end of the month.

I asked Sally, my wife, if she liked the idea, but she was a little nervous about it. Both my daughters were interested though. In the end it was easier for Katie to take part … so long as it could be fitted in around her exam schedule.

It took a little organising to come up with a date that worked, but we eventually managed to make a recording on Saturday May 5th.

We arranged to be at the BBC Berkshire studios at 9:00 am. Graham McKechnie, the producer of the project at BBC Berkshire, needed to be commentating at a London Irish rugby match later in the day, hence the early start.

Actually, 9:00 am isn’t so early except that Katie needed to travel by train from London to home first, and I needed to spend a while applying makeup

The day went something like this:

6:30 am and the alarm on my phone sounds.

6:30 + a few seconds, the alarm on the radio sounds.

I get up and make tea (for Sally) and coffee (for me).

6:45 shower.

Having already decided what to wear the previous night, collecting things from the wardrobe only takes a couple of minutes.

Deodorant. Shave. Teeth. Moisturiser. Underwear. Tights (stockings and suspenders are tricky to do at the moment, my thumb is still on the sensitive side). Perfume. Foundation. Powder. Shadow.

7:15 and Sally sets off to collect Katie from Heathrow Terminal 2. The rail service from London to Windsor isn’t fully operational this weekend, so it’s easier for Katie to get to Heathrow, which is about 20 minutes from home).

Eye liner. Mascara. Blush. Lips.

Dress. Necklace. Hair. Rings. Watch. Bracelet. Earrings.

Handbag.

8:00 and ready to roll.

Makes me smile, thinking how much extra sleep I could have had if this had been in drab (dressed as a bloke).

Waiting for Katie and Sally I take a few pictures for posterity.

 

8:20 and they arrive.

Katie heads for the loo.

I head for the car and prepare the Sat Nav.

8:25 and Katie re-appears. She’d been at a birthday party the previous evening which went on until 3:00 am, so she’s had a lot less sleep than me.

The journey to Caversham is uneventful, though I did miss the same left turn that I missed the last time that I drove there.

8:57 I press the button at the entrance … “Andrea and Katie Wright here for an interview with BBC Berkshire.” The barrier is lowered.

We park and walk towards reception.

A car pulls up beside us, window down.

“Hello, are you Andrea?”.

“Yes. Graham?”

And it is.

Graham parks and catches us up. I introduce him to Katie.

We sign in at reception.

Graham heads off to collect some paperwork.

When he gets back he explains a little more about the Listening Project and tells us a bit about the work that he does and how it all works.

We feel relaxed and welcome.

The paperwork is filled in.

Katie offers up the name Katherine, which makes me smile.

“Would you prefer Katie?” asks Graham.

So Katie it is.

On to me.

Andrea.

“Gender?”.

“Male”, I respond. Makes me smile to be asked.

Then into the studio.

Microphones and coffee.

Sound level testing.

“What did you have for breakfast?”

“Nothing” says Katie. A late night, early morning and travelling from London.

“Me neither” says Andrea. Preoccupied with the makeup.

And then we begin.

We talk of parents. Grandparents. Childhood.

Of my gender identity. How people have handled it. How they have felt about it. How I feel about it. How Katie feels about it. Sally. Sarah. Extended family. Friends. Where it came from. Where it is going.

Graham asks if he can suggest a few questions … making it clear we’re free to ignore him if we prefer.

We talk about the difference that being TV has made to me. To Katie.

Fifty minutes have flown by. And I’ve learned a lot.

A few photos.

And time to go.

We both enjoyed the experience a lot and learned things about each other.

When I receive a copy of the recording I’ll post that if Katie is ok with it, together with the pictures.

And many thanks Claire for the time given up in organising it all and to Graham for the time to record it, for making us feel so relaxed and for the really helpful advice, interest and questions.