Friday, 22 June 2007

Am I convincing?

It rained a lot last night and this morning. There was quite a deep pond of water in the road to drive through on the way to work. The car managed to get through it without complaining. It had all cleared up by the end of the day.

I thought a bit about the concept of being convincing. Quite a few people at TVChix mention that they are convincing. Some say that they only want to meet t-girls that are convincing. Some only venture out into the world dressed if they feel that they can convince.

I think that's fine ... each to her own.

For myself, I guess my thinking isn't quite along those lines.

I'm not a girl ... more of a guy that has a feminine side. A transvestite. A t-girl. I don't want to be a girl. I'm happy to be who I am ... now that I'm beginning to learn to accept myself that way.

The first time I ever visited Charles Fox to buy makeup I remember thinking about what I'd say if I was asked "What kind of look do you want?" I decided my answer would be something like:

"A 25 year old girl would be perfect!"

Actually I would have settled for looking like a 25 year old guy!

In a way maybe whenever I dress and makeup I will look like a transvestite. But ... since that's what I am then I can't grumble too much.

I can manage to look like a convincing tranny :)

Ultimately I think that being dressed and made up is about how it makes me feel. It's about feeling a little more in touch with myself ... more balanced. I think.

I do want to be accepted by others as Andrea ... but whether people accept Andrea or not ... Andrea is still an expression of a part of me ... of my femininity.

Because of this, I guess, I want to make Andrea look as feminine as I can manage. But I realise that there are limits. And ultimately my aim isn't to convince other people. My aim is to get closer to myself.

So ... if any of you guys and girls have any tips on how I can be a more feminine Andrea then that's cool ... please please tell me.

However, if at the end of a day I still look a bit like a bloke in a dress ... well ... that's what I am really.

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