Indigo Moments

A little earlier today I was thinking of love, falling in love and falling out of love.

A few years back when things in my marriage were in a falling apart kind of phase I was in a place wondering if it was possible to fall in love having fallen out of love.

Round about that time I discovered the musical love of my life. Most people I know only ever heard of Indigo Girls from me.

If it wasn't for Emily Saliers and Amy Ray, though, I think life would be a very different thing for me now.

I listened to Love's Recovery many times. Almost always I'd shed tears as I listened. I still do. The song gave me a hope that it was at least possible for love to recover. And sometimes just a little hope is all that's needed.

I discovered Amy and Emily in the earliest days of Napster. Downloaded a lot of their music and fell in love with it. Since then I bought just about all their CDs and have been to ... I think 7 ... of their UK concerts. If Napster hadn't been around in those days I would have lost out and so would the recording industry.

Actually the first Indigo Girls song I listened to is you and me of the 10,000 wars. One day it would be nice to get a chance to ask Emily what it all means to her. To me it expresses feelings about inner conflicts and emotions.

a hand in the darker side
and our sights set on Zion
the heart of a skeptic and the mind of a child
put my life in a box and let my imagination run wild
pour the cement for my feet
the heart and the mind on a parallel course
never the two shall meet

There have been times when I've felt like that. Wanting one thing, but not being able to do it or be it.

I don't know that it's been a conflict between masculine and feminine in me - haven't ever really thought of it in those terms before. But maybe this has been part of it.

There's a sense in which just beginning to be free to express the feminine side of myself is bringing my heart and my mind together.