Saturday, 30 June 2007

Phobias, insensitivity, kindnesses and ... shopping

A wet kind of weekend so far. But at least not affected by any flooding.

Last night I chatted online a while with one of the people that I thought might never talk with me again. It meant a lot that although she finds Andrea impossible to understand, she can still be OK. Thank you L ... it means more to me than you know.

During the conversation we talked a bit about how difficult it can be for people to be accepted or at least tolerated by society.

Some people seem to have a real problem in tolerating other people who are different. Often I guess it's associated with some kind of fear or phobia or maybe a need to feel superior in some way. Perhaps the need to feel superior is the result of some inner insecurity?

Some people seem to find it easy to pick on gay people or lesbians. Or fat people. Or transvestites and transsexuals. Anyone that is different.

So far I've been outside as Andrea just twice. So far I haven't experienced sniggers from people or verbal abuse. So far only inquisitiveness and kindness.

However, I have talked with tgirls that have, and read blog sites. I know people that are overweight and suffer the same kind of insensitive behaviour from others.

One day I know that it will happen to me.

I hope that I'll have the grace to deal with it in a way that minimises hurt and pain to all concerned. And also the bravery to continue just being myself. So long as being myself is something that doesn't harm other people then that's who I want to be.

Today I returned the clothes that I bought last week that didn't fit ... and couldn't resist buying alternatives. I decided this time to not have to go through another cycle of finding I had to return things all over again. So, I gritted my teeth (just metaphorically) and visited the changing rooms. This wasn't so bad at all ... at least compared with how I thought it might have been. The shopping was all at charity shops. There are just one or two cubicles. No one is watching. And I didn't feel embarassed or uncomfortable at all. It also meant that there was one skirt that I liked a lot but didn't buy because it didn't fit. So it saved a return journey. I ended up buying loads of clothes ... at very little cost.

I called in at M&S with my wife also. It was really nice looking at clothing with her. She bought a lovely dress and jacket. While waiting in the queue for the changing room it was interesting to notice how different it is from a queue of guys. Ladies ask each other how things look, whether or not colours match or clash ... even through they don't know each other.

It really is a totally different world!

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